Burning Hammer Tape Review #13
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WWE: Raw
December 16, 2002
--Taped from Orlando, FL
--Your hosts are JR & King
--Inter-Gender Match: Trish Stratus, Test (W/Stacy Keibler) V. Steven Richards, Victoria. Test kills Richards at 4:09 with a Big Boot to get the pin. * Fun little match, as are most Richards & Victoria matches.
--Maven V. Christopher Nowinski. It's the battle of the Tough Enough alums, and hopefully they won't wrestle like they did while on Tough Enough. Nowinski hits the Honor Roll, which is a weird Butterfly Flip Suplex. Nowinski gets the pin at 4:59 with a Rollup. *1/2 Nice basic match, and the only problem is that both guys are still green, so since nobody could take control of the match for them they used a very, very slow and deliberate pace.
--Goldust V. Christian. Christian gets the pin at 3:45 with a Rollup while holding the ropes. * They tried a bunch of stuff to make the match more interesting, but the match wasn't long enough for any of it to mean anything.
--Handicap Match: Rob Van Dam, Kane V. 3 Minute Warning, Batista (W/Ric Flair). Rosey tags in Jamal instead of Batista, so he and Flair bale on the match. Kane gets the pin on Jamal at 4:51 with a Chokeslam. 3/4* Pedestrian handicap match.
--William Regal, Lance Storm V. Dudley Boyz. Regal gets the pin on D-Von at 5:17 with a Lateral Press after clocking him with a pair of brass knuckles. * Too many Chinlocks, and not much flow.
--Jeff Hardy V. D-Lo Brown. Hardy slips and barely makes contact on a Running Plancha. Hardy gets the pin at 3:29 with a Swanton Bomb although D-Lo's foot was on the ropes. 1/2* Too short to mean anything, and this featured the usual sloppy effort from Hardy. This also marked the beginning of D-Lo's racist gimmick, and to spice things up a little they should have used Goldust instead, and have him claim that he was being discriminated against because he was gold, that gimmick would have been money in the bank.
--Chris Jericho V. Booker T. Booker wins the match by disqualification at 6:12 when Christian attacks him. *1/2 Going through the motions type of match between these guys, with no real meaning behind any of the moves.
--Final Flash: Despite what the ratings may say, this was an enjoyable Raw for the most part, but bad wrestling is still bad wrestling.
Not Recommended.
NWA: Total Nonstop Action #25
December 18, 2002
--Taped from Nashville, TN
--Your hosts are Don West & Mike Tenay
--10-Man Gauntlet Match: This would be just like a Royal Rumble with two men starting in the ring, and the rest of the combatants entering the ring at ninety second intervals, but in this match eliminations occur only by pinfall or submission. Jason Cross is #1, & Amazing Red is #2. Tony Mamaluke comes out at #3, and immediately goes after Cross with his SWEET~ Kneebreaker, Dragon Screw Legwhip, Sicilian Crab combo, but Cross holds on long enough and eventually manages to get free. Jimmy Rave is #4. Mamaluke hits Rave with a vicious Backdrop Driver. Shark Boy is #5 & instantly I mark the fuck out for Shark Boy. Kid Kash is #6. Kash catches a Shark Springboard Crossbody and turns it into a Powerslam for 2. Ace Steele is #7. Rave eliminates Mamaluke with a Rollup, & then Shark eliminates Rave with the Diamond Dust. Jose Maximo is #8, as Kash eliminates Shark with a J-Driller. Joel Maximo is #9. David Young is #10, and he immediately busts out a shitload of power moves to establish that he is in fact 4 feet of pure bad ass. Red eliminates Young with the Infra-Red. Steele eliminates Jose with an insane Avalanche Swinging DDT. Joel eliminates Steele with a Rollup. Kash eliminates Joel with a Hurricanrana. Kash hits Red with an Avalanche Press Slam, but Cross breaks it up at 2. Red eliminates Kash with a messed up Swinging DTT off the middle-rope. Cross gets the pin to eliminate Red and win the match at 22:08 with a Shooting Star Legdrop that doesn't actually connect. **3/4 Some nice spots, but no real flow to any of the spots, and no breaks in between all of the spots.
--Three Way Dance Match: Disciples Of The New Church (W/Father James Mitchell & Belladonna) V. America's Most Wanted V. Harris Boys. This is under the first pinfall or submission wins the match rules. Disciples consist of Brian Lee & Slash in this match. Chris gets the pin on Ron at 7:38 after the Road Warriors interfere & Hawk hits Ron with a top-rope Splash. 3/4* Chaotic brawl, with AMW providing the only bright spots.
--NWA X Championship, Three Way Dance Match: EZ Money V. Jerry Lynn V. Sonny Siaki. Once again this is first pinfall or submission wins the match rules. Money hits a SWEET~ Kneelift/Neckbreaker combo on Siaki. They try a weird spot where Lynn gives Money a Hurricanrana, and that's supposed to catapult him into Siaki with a Spear, and while they pull it off, it doesn't look all that good. Lynn counters a Siaki TKO with a Scorpion Deathdrop. Siaki gets the pin on Money at 7:47 with a Siakalypse after interference from the still as yet to be named, Desire. ** Some decent wrestling, but there were so many chances for the match to be better, but instead of continuing to mat wrestle, or to chain wrestle, they would just break down and start throwing out spots instead.
--Streetfight Match: Truth V. BG James. James gets the pin at 4:40 with a Lateral Press after Elix Skipper, Low-Ki, & Christopher Daniels attack the Truth. 1/2* Another bad match between these two, with some really bad spots for a streetfight.
--S.A.T.s V. Low-Ki, Elix Skipper, Christopher Daniels. S.A.T.s consist of all three members in this match, Amazing Red and Joel & Jose Maximo. This match came about because Bob Armstrong made a plea to any of the X division wrestlers in the back to step up and face Skipper, Daniels, & Low-Ki, who had joined up with Russo. I'm highly disappointed that in a locker room that had Jason Cross, Tony Mamaluke, Jimmy Rave, Shark Boy, & Ace Steele, the S.A.T.s were the best they could come up with. The S.A.T.s hit a pretty SWANK~ triple team combo that features Red hitting a Springboard Dropkick on Low-Ki while he's being held in a Powerbomb position by Joel, who then hands Low-Ki to Jose who holds him in a Tombstone Piledriver position, allowing Joel to hit a Seated Dropkick on Low-Ki, and then Jose flips up Low-Ki, allowing Red to hit a Diamond Cutter. Skipper & Low-Ki trap Red in the corner and take turns giving him boot scrapes. Red pisses me off by totally ignoring the massive heat segment that Daniels, Skipper, & Low-Ki just worked on him by ignoring the chance to make the hot tag and instead deciding to throw out some of his patented spots on Low-Ki. Joel hits Daniels with the Crown's Gate, but Skipper breaks up the count at 2. Red nails Low-Ki with a Springboard Novacaine for 2. Low-Ki gets the pin on Red at 21:04 with a middle-rope Ki-Krusher. **1/2 I really liked certain aspects of this match, but Red pissing on the efforts of Daniels, Low-Ki, & Skipper to build an incredible heat segment, and the match deteriorating into nothing but a spotfest by the end helped to negate all the stuff that I really liked about the match.
--Final Flash: Some decent-good wrestling on this show, but no blow away matches, and too much Vince Russo.
Not Recommended
WWE: Smackdown
December 19, 2002
--Taped from Tampa, FL
--Your hosts are Tazz & Michael Cole
--Eddie Guerrero (W/Chavo Guerrero Jr.) V. Billy Kidman. Eddie gets the pin at 3:00 with a Splash Mountain. 3/4* Basic & too short match.
--Chuck Palumbo V. John Cena (W/B-2). Cena gets the pin at 2:46 after rolling through a Palumbo Crossbody. 1/2* More basic & short stuff.
--Brock Lesnar V. Shannon Moore. Match was originally supposed to be Lesnar versus Matt Hardy, but a horrible, dehabilitating, and life threatening black eye forced Matt to sit this one out. Lesnar gives Moore a sick Overhead Belly-To-Belly Suplex over the top-rope and to the floor on the outside. Lesnar gets the pin at 0:47 with an F-5. DUD Squash, with one sick as hell bump by Moore.
--Jamie Noble, Nunzio (W/Nidia) V. Crash, Bill DeMott. DeMott gets the pin on Noble at 2:12 with a Moonsault Press. DUD Squash city, DeMott wrestled the entire match, and killed every cruiserweight involved, including his own partner.
--Edge V. A-Train. Edge gets the pin at 5:31 with a Spear. ** Edge really brought this match down, Train spent all match working on Edge's knee, and anytime Edge went on offense he totally ignored all of the work that Train had put into his knee.
--Kurt Angle (W/Paul Heyman) V. Chris Benoit. Snap Suplex by Benoit gets 2. Benoit runs the ropes, which allows Angle to hit his beautiful Snap Belly-To-Belly Suplex. Benoit reverses an Angle Slam with an Armdrag, and then both guys hit duel Clotheslines for a double KO spot. Rolling Germans by Benoit, but Angle stops him at two when he counters to an Anklelock, but Benoit reverses that sending Angle crashing into the middle turnbuckle. Crossface by Benoit, but Big Show runs in and attacks Benoit to give him the disqualification win at 9:46. ***1/4 Good match, with a lot of abbreviated & fast mat sequences, but a BS ending.
--Final Flash: Blah Smackdown this week, but it did feature a good Angle/Benoit match that never gets talked about when any of their good matches are brought up in a discussion.
Not Recommended
WWE: Velocity
December 21, 2002
--Taped from Tampa, FL
--Your hosts are Josh Mathews & Ernest Miller
--Shannon Moore V. Chavo Guerrero Jr. Interesting match, since the announcers are hyping the giant bump that Moore took from Lesnar on Smackdown, and Moore is trying to sell it, but since this match actually took place before the bump he doesn't really know what specific area to sell. Chavo gets the pin at 4:33 with a Gory Bomb. *1/2 Decent match that didn't have time to go anywhere.
--Andy Anderson V. Rikishi. Anderson is a pretty good worker who usually wrestles in Puerto Rico under a mask as El Lobo. Rikishi hits one of the sloppiest Samoan Drops I've ever seen, and it comes out looking more like an Inverted Flapjack than a Samoan Drop. Rikishi gets the pin at 3:13 with a Banzai Drop. 1/4* Some decent stuff from Anderson, but a sloppy squash in the end.
--Michael Shane V. Bill DeMott. Shane is a pretty well known Indy wrestler, which although he's talented, is moreso due to the fact that Shawn Michaels is his uncle rather than anything he's done in the ring. DeMott gets the pin at 1:51 with a Moonsault Press. DUD DeMott continues his squashing o' cruiserweights.
--Jamie Noble (W/Nidia) V. Funaki. Noble counters a Funaki Bulldog with a SWEET~ Powerslam. Noble gets the pin at 3:44 with a Tiger Driver. * Too short to really get going.
--Final Flash: Another bad Velocity in a series of them, which was a common occurrence during the Bill DeMott squash o' cruiserweights on Velocity era.
Not Recommended
WWE: Heat
December 22, 2002
--Taped from Orlando, FL
--Your hosts are Lita & Coach
--Al Snow V. Johnny Stamboli. Snow actually manages to get Stamboli involved in some good mat wrestling sequences early on. Stamboli gets the pin at 5:21 with a Double Jump Legdrop. **1/2 There was some good mat wrestling, and a good job by Snow of carrying Stamboli to a decent match.
--Michael Shane, Scoot Andrews V. Spike Dudley, Tommy Dreamer. Due to my VCR fucking up, we join this in progress with Dreamer controlling Shane in an Armbar. Shane nails Spike with a Lariat. Dreamer gets the pin on Andrews at 5:32 aired with a Death Valley Driver. ** Some nice tag wrestling, with Shane & Andrews actually being allowed to look good in the match.
--Molly Holly V. Jacqueline. Molly hits the Rolling Verticals, albeit with less impact than any other version I've ever seen, stopping at two. Jacqueline gets the pin at 3:11 with a Spin Kick that didn't even come close to connecting. 1/2* Jacqueline provided her usual terrible effort, and the match was too short for Molly to be able to do anything to save it.
--Raven V. Hurricane. Shining Apprentice gets Hurricane a two count. Hurricane gets the pin at 2:35 with Nightmare On Helms Street. 3/4* Nowhere near enough time for these two to put on the type of match they're capable of.
--Final Flash: Decent Heat this week, but nothing that stuck out, or that's worth actually looking for.
Not Recommended
WWE: Raw
December 23, 2002
--Taped from Oklahoma City, OK
--Your hosts are JR & King, Chief Morley & Eric Bischoff
--Rob Van Dam, Kane V. 3 Minute Warning (W/Rico). RVD gets the pin on Jamal at 4:05 after a Frog Splash. 1/2* Standard 3MW match.
--Test (W/Stacy Keibler) V. D-Lo Brown. This match featured the debut of gangsta D-Lo, which sadly would only last for this one match. Just imagine 50 Cent, only whiter, and more articulate. Test gets the win at 4:11 via disqualification after D-Lo shoved the referee. 1/2* Bad match, but I for one mourn the passing of gangsta D-Lo.
--Christopher Nowinski V. Hurricane. Hurricane gets the pin at 1:55 with a Shining Apprentice. 1/4* Time filler.
--Batista (W/Ric Flair) V. Spike Dudley. Batista gives Spike a sick Powerbomb onto the railing on the outside. Batista gets the pin at 1:21 with a Demon Bomb. DUD Squash match.
--Santa's Little Helpers Match: Victoria, Ivory, Molly Holly V. Jacqueline, Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus. The gimmick for this match is that all six women are dressed up in various Santa like costumes, but it's important to note that Victoria has them all beat by a wide margin with her costume of choice for tonight. Trish gets the pin on Ivory at 3:33 after a Springboard Bulldog. * Compact match, but at least it was non-stop action.
--WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Chris Jericho, Christian V. Booker T, Goldust. Jericho cuts a great promo before the match, once again singling out Goldust for being the weak link on his team, and calling him a failure at everything he does in life. Goldust gives Jericho a Catapult over the top-rope & to the outside on top of Christian. Jericho & Christian do a good job of isolating Goldust and working over his almost always injured lower back. Axe Kick by Booker on Christian, and the ref counts three, but then notices that Christian had his foot on the ropes and says the match must continue. Long heat segment on Booker, who finally makes the tag to Goldust, who cleans house on Jericho & Christian, including a double DDT on both men. Powerslam by Goldust on Jericho gets a real close 2. Boston Crab by Jericho on Goldust, and he holds out as long as he can, but right when he's about to tap Booker makes the save and breaks up the hold. Lionsault by Jericho, but Goldust gets his knees up, which allows him to get a School-Boy Rollup on Jericho for the pin at 13:45 aired. ***3/4 These four guys really meshed well together, and their series of matches around this time were almost always good, and this one was no exception. Great tag wrestling, with more great storytelling in the form of Goldust being the weak link and Jericho calling him out on it, and then Goldust finally putting an end to any chance of that being the case by getting the deciding pinfall on Jericho himself.
--William Regal, Lance Storm V. Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross. Ross gets the pin on Regal at 5:30 after punching him with a pair of brass knuckles, and some interference from the Dudley Boyz. 1/4* I don't think this match would irritate me as much if it were a one time thing, but it started a trend of the Raw announcers being involved in lots of matches & storylines during 2003.
--Final Flash: Great tag match aside, this was another blasˇ Raw, and as the months would go on, matches like the tag title match would be few & far between as Raw sunk deeper into a state of awfulness.
Not Recommended
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