Burning Hammer DVD Review #16

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ECW: Hardcore History
Compilation Tape

--Taped from various places, but mostly from the Pennsylvania area

--Your host is Joey Styles

--ECW Tag Team Championship Match: Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko V. Sabu, Taz (W/Paul E. Dangerously & 911). This is from ECW Return Of The Funker 1995. Backstory revolved around these two teams and Public Enemy fighting over the titles, but due to Benoit breaking Sabu's neck a few months previous to this match these two teams had a particular disdain for each other. This was also right after Taz switched from the Tasmaniac namesake, but he still had the weird Conan gear on. Benoit & Malenko beat the crap out of Public Enemy before the match, with Benoit running Rocco Rock into the railing while he's in his wheelchair. That attack allows Sabu & Taz to attack Benoit & Malenko from behind. They brawl for a bit and then Malenko proves just how awesome he is by dropping Sabu straight on his recently injured neck with two straight Brainbusters to get a 2 count. Benoit & Malenko hit a SWEET~ Powerbomb/Neckbreaker Drop off the top-rope combo move on Sabu. Taz hits Malenko with a Capture Suplex, then gives Benoit an Overhead Belly-To-Belly Suplex. Taz counters a Malenko Full Nelson into a Inverted Suplex, then he picks up Benoit and gives him an Electric Chair Hot Shot, catches Benoit on the rebound and nails him with a German Suplex right on his head. Malenko finally ends that awesome sequence by taking out Taz with a Knee Clip. Malenko goes to work on the knee, locking in a Kneebar on Taz. Dangerously has 911 carry Taz to the back to escape further injury, which leaves Sabu by himself against Benoit & Malenko, and that can never be a good thing. Sabu goes on offense, catching Malenko with a Tope Con Hilo, then immediately nailing Benoit with a Tope Suicida, then following that up by hitting an Asai Moonsault on Benoit. Sabu sets up a table on the top-rope, and puts a chair on top of the table, but Benoit shoves him off the table and he lands viciously on the chair on the way down. Benoit hits Sabu with the Blonde Bombshell (Avalanche Powerbomb) at 10:32 to get the pin and the titles. **** This was non-stop action, and a great spotfest. Every spot hit, every spot made sense, and most importantly none of them were overly contrived or impossible to pull off.

--ECW Tag Team Championship, Cage Match: Eliminators V. Gangstas. This is from ECW Natural Born Killaz 1996. This is under pinfall/submission to win rules. For those not aware, the Gangstas are New Jack & Mustafa Saed, whose gimmick was that of a pair of street thug gangbangers. They actually got their start in SMW, but thankfully Paul Heyman stole them away to ECW so I could get back to watching the Heavenly Bodies & Rock 'N' Roll Express have good matches against a wide variety of opponents instead of having to see the Gangstas crap up the ring all the time in SMW. There are guys around the ring wearing executioner masks, and there job is to hand any of the combatants weapons when they need them. One of the executioners nails Jack with a guitar, and it turns out to be Shane Douglas in an angle that was never followed up on. Jack gets the pin on Kronus at 14:51 after a Splash off the top of the cage while holding a chair. DUD Really badly done brawling, and badly executed garbage wrestling.

--ECW Tag Team Championship, Double Dog Collar, 2/3 Falls Match: Pit Bulls V. Raven, Stevie Richards (W/Beulah McGillicutty). This is from ECW Gangstas Paradise 1995. The deal is Pit Bull #1 is attached at the neck by a dog collar, with a chain connecting them, to Richards, and the same goes for Pit Bull #2 and Raven. Beulah explains before the match can start that Richards suffered a broken arm in a match the previous night, so since Raven will be wrestling by himself it would only be fare to make this a 2/3 falls match and the Bulls accept. If the Bulls lose the match they have to break up for good. Bull #1 goes back to the dressing room and drags a bloody Richards out to the ring. Bull #2 sets up a table in the ring and Raven gives him a sick Piledriver through it to get the pin and win the first fall for his team at 2:07. Bull #2 gets the pin on Richards to win the second fall for his team at 4:20 with a Superbomb (middle-rope Powerbomb.) Ref bump sees the Dudleys, in this case Dances With & Dudley, interfere and attack the Bulls. Raven hits a Superbomb on Bull #2, while almost simultaneously Richards hits a Superbomb on Bull #1, but the Bulls no sell and take out both Dudleys with Superbombs. Bull #2 hits Raven with a sick Superbomb, smashing Raven's head into the edge of the table he was trying to put him through, but Raven manages to kick out at two and prove he's still conscious. Raven pulls out a soaked ether rag and chokes out Bull #2 with it while Joey Styles bashes SMW. Sure, bash a far superior promotion, we all know how well that works out for ECW in the end. Raven sets up two tables on top of each other on the outside, and places Bull #2 on the top table. Raven gives Bull #2 an Alabama Jam (Legdrop off the middle-rope), but only the top table breaks, so Raven puts Bull #2 through the bottom table with a Hip Buster (Elbowdrop off the apron.) Bull #1 gives Richards a Falcon Arrow through a table, but Raven breaks up the count at 2, and everyone is knocked out. This gives Francine the chance to run in and have her regularly scheduled catfight with Beulah, but Raven puts an end to that, taking out Francine with a DDT. While the paramedics are carrying Bull #2 away on a stretcher Tommy Dreamer comes out, takes his place, and gives Raven a DDT at 14:40 for the pin, but evil referee Bill Alphonso comes out and overturns the decision, awarding the match to Raven & Richards. ECW Commissioner Todd Gordon comes out and orders that the match be restarted, and Big Dick Dudley, who came out with Alphonso, decides to Chokeslam Dreamer, so Alphonso un-bans the Chokeslam for this one night only, which brings out 911. For those who didn't follow ECW, Alphonso had banned the Chokeslam to prevent the fan favorite 911 from ever using the move again, and the fans go apeshit the moment 911's music hits because they know that Alphonso is finally going to get his, and true to form 911 gives Alphonso a massive Chokeslam. Bull #2 makes his way back out to the ring and Dreamer & Bull #1 set up Raven for a Superbomb, then they put Richards on top of Raven's shoulders and Bull #2 hits a Superbomb on both of them and pins them both at the same time to win the third fall, the match, and the titles at 19:46, with Gordon counting the pinfall. ****3/4 This was one hell of a wild & chaotic brawl, and it told such a great and multi-layered story. It brought together about five to six different storylines, and managed to get them all to fit within the context of one match. I'm not a big fan of interference laden brawls, but in this case it worked, and added to the match instead of detracting from it.

--ECW Television Championship Match: Pit Bull #2 (W/Pit Bull #1) V. Shane Douglas (W/Francine). This is from ECW The Doctor Is In 1996. Francine had been the Bulls manager, but she turned on them in favor of Douglas, who had broken Bull #1's neck and then attacked him while he was in a neck halo. Bull #2 immediately goes after Douglas' neck, hitting a Brainbuster followed up by a Neckbreaker and a Piledriver. DDT by Bull #2 and he works over Douglas' neck in the corner. Unfortunately they soon forget about all the cool psychology with Douglas' neck and go straight to brawling. Douglas hits a pair of Belly-To-Belly Suplexes to get the pin at 15:26. * This embodies a lot of what I hate about ECW, and the finish summed it up perfectly, seventeen different shots with a foreign object can't finish off Bull #2, but a Belly-To-Belly Suplex can. That's stupidity at it's finest, and then you also have the total disregard for psychology, they worked a good first few minutes and then decided to hell with this wrestling shit and went straight to brawling, which is what 90% of all ECW matches ended up being. I don't have a problem with brawling, but too much is a bad thing, especially when it's too much bad brawling.

--ECW Heavyweight Championship Match: Cactus Jack V. Sandman (W/Woman). This is from ECW Hardcore Heaven 1995. Cactus starts off the match with his right arm wrapped in barbed wire. Sandman nails Cactus with a Plancha, and it didn't suck. Sandman gets a Slingshot Legdrop for 2, and once again, it didn't suck. Ref bump sees Shane Douglas interfere and Piledrive Sandman, but then he hits Cactus in the head with a Singapore cane and rolls Sandman on top of Cactus for the pin at 13:09. *1/2 Your basic Cactus/Sandman match, which was never any good.

--Stretcher Match: Rob Van Dam V. Sabu. This is from ECW The Doctor Is In 1996. To win the match you have to injure your opponent bad enough that you can place him on a stretcher and have paramedics wheel him all the way back to the dressing room. This was back when there was no 'RVD' just plan old Van Dam. This was set up by the basic principle of neither man being willing enough to show the other man any respect. Van Dam goes for a Slingshot move, but Sabu breaks it up with a Dropkick, sending Van Dam crashing out to the arena floor. Van Dam kills Sabu with a Guillotine Legdrop while Sabu was laying with his head off the apron and had a chair on top of his head. Van Dam calls for the stretcher, but Sabu refuses to leave. Standing Moonsault by Van Dam. Sabu hits a contrived 'hang between the middle-rope & I'll hit you with a Guillotine Legdrop onto a chair' spot. Van Dam totally fucks up a Springboard Clothesline, falling off the top-rope and landing way short of Sabu. Sabu then fucks up a Somersault Arabian Facebuster off the top-rope, dropping the chair during the middle of the move and not even making any contact with the chair on Van Dam. Sabu calls for a stretcher, because the G-forces of the chair whiffing past Van Dam must have been very hurtful or something, but this time Van Dam refuses to go to the back. Stiff Lariat by Sabu followed by a Triple Jump Moonsault and both men are knocked out. Sabu puts Van Dam on the stretcher and hits him with an Asai Moonsault, smashing his legs into the railing in the process. Van Dam hits Sabu with a Moonsault Bodyblock off the railing on the outside. Joey Styles calls a Double Jump Frankensteiner a Reverse Victory Roll, as I again wonder why anyone ever thought he was any good. Van Dam nails Sabu with a Fisherman's Buster off the apron through a table on the outside. Van Dam goes for a Senton Bomb to the outside, but Sabu moves out of the way at the last second and Van Dam lands ass first on the stretcher and gets wheeled to the back at 23:33 making Sabu the winner. **3/4 A decent, albeit way too long spotfest. After a while the spots got to be a bit too much, and both men started blowing more and more spots as the match went along.

--2/3 Falls Match: Rey Misterio Jr. V. Juventud Guerrera. This is from ECW Big Ass Extreme Bash 1996. Misterio gets 2 off of a middle-rope Frankensteiner. Satellite Headscissors by Misterio sends Guerrera outside where Misterio hits him with a Split-Legged Moonsault. Sunset Flip Powerbomb by Misterio, but Guerrera fires back with a Brainbuster for a 2 count. Dragon Suplex by Guerrera gets the pin to win the first fall at 5:32. Misterio hits a Headscissors off the top-rope and sends Guerrera flying off the apron and to the outside where Misterio follows with an insane Tope Con Hilo. Powerbomb by Misterio gets 2. Lionsault by Misterio gets another 2. Misterio gets the pin to win the second fall at 9:03 with a Doctorbomb. They fight to the arena floor, where Guerrera connects with an Asai Moonsault. Misterio catches Guerrera coming off the top-rope for a Hurricanrana and nails him with a vicious Powerbomb for a close 2 count. Guerrera hits a SWEET~ Press Fallaway Slam for 2. They fight all the way outside the arena where Guerrera gives Misterio a Powerbomb onto the hood of a car, but then Misterio comes off the hood of the car with a Headscissors on Guerrera. Misterio reverses a middle-rope Splash Mountain attempt by Guerrera into a middle-rope Frankensteiner for the pin to win the third fall and the match at 16:04. ***1/2 Another spotfest, but unlike the previous match every spot here was hit clean, all of them seemed realistic, there was non-stop action from the moment the bell rang, and it wasn't too long of a match. As good as this is, it's actually one of the weaker matches between Misterio & Guerrera, so that should tell you what good chemistry they have together.

--Scaffold Match: Brian Lee V. Tommy Dreamer. This is from ECW High Incident 1996. There's a scaffold over the top of the ring, and the only way to win the match is to push your opponent off the scaffold and down to the ring, but this being ECW there's around twenty tables stacked in the ring for whoever loses to fall on. They start fighting all over the arena, and Dreamer crotches himself on the railing, once again taking a shot to the nuts. Based on the number of nut shots Dreamer has taken and continues to take in his career you really have to wonder what Beulah McGillicutty is getting out of their marriage. Dreamer crotches himself on a wooden beam sticking out of the scaffold. Do you see why I wonder if the dude's equipment is able to function properly. In lieu of wrestling the guy took at least two shots to the nuts every match and that can't be good for the man's social life. Dreamer punches Lee off the scaffold and he falls down through a bunch of tables in the ring at 8:48 to make Dreamer the winner in the match, but not the winner in life because Lee is currently living with his nuts intact and I don't think the same can be said for Dreamer. 1/4* Scaffold matches as a rule suck, and this was no different.

--Final Flash: There's some pretty bad crap on this DVD, but mixed in with that crap you have one really good tag match, one excellent tag match, and one good & entertaining as hell spotfest that make this DVD more than worth your while.

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