The Hurricane Warning: No Mercy 1999
Taped October 17, 1999 - Gund Arena, Cleveland, OH
Godfather vs. Mideon (w/Viscera)
Sadly, since Naked Mideon was about a year away, there's no mark-out value on the heel side. Godfather controls early, but Viscera gets near the Hos and Mideon takes advantage of the distraction. Mideon slows it down with Phineas offense and the occasional interference from Viscera, but Godfather is able to make the CLASSIC COMEBACK~ and roll up Mideon for the win after a Ho Train. Short and inoffensive brawl, but nothing really stood out. *
Women's Championship - Ivory (c) vs. The Fabulous Moolah (w/Mae Young)
No, that is NOT a misprint, I'm sorry to say. Moolah gets an early advantage with the oldest offense in captivity (dropkicks, snapmares) but Ivory fights back and counters Mae's attempted interference. Mae actually takes three or four good bumps to the floor in this match. Moolah and Ivory brawl out to the floor where Ivory "hits" a plancha that checks in at 0.75 Kim, and back in the ring, Moolah drills Ivory with a punch and gets... 3??!! wtf? *rewinds* Good lord, she won... -**
New Age Outlaws vs. The Hollys
In the run-up to this match, the Hollys actually cost the NAO the WWF Tag Team Titles in a match against the Rock & Sock Connection, which logically means they screwed THEMSELVES out of a Tag Team title shot. Crazy kids... The NAO entrance is still a mark-out moment, even knowing what I do about them now. Road Dogg starts out hot, but quickly falls into the role of face-in-peril. The Hollys use great tag psychology - frequent tags, double-teams, and even going so far as to put the feet on the ropes during a chinlock to heel heat. Bob Holly also has the longest stall on a vertical suplex I think I've ever seen. as he held the Dogg up for something like twenty seconds. Road Dogg fights out with a quick superplex and gets the hot tag to Billy - and the joint goes insane. The finish is a stroke of GENIUS on the level of Eddy and Tajiri - the Hollys take all tne NAO offense and then Hardcore slides a steel chair into the ring. Gunn drops Crash with a Fameasser on the chair, the ref sees it, and the Outlaws get DQed. Beautiful. ***1/2
Intercontinental Championship, Good Housekeeping Match - Jeff Jarrett (c) w/Miss Kitty vs. Chyna
The ring's set up like the hardcore matches in the Acclaim wrestling games - weapons everywhere. "A reverse powerbomb through the TV!! Mai Gawd!" The difference is, all the weapons are common household items - except the kitchen sink. Jeff is kind enough to rectify that though, as he brings a kitchen sink with him to the ring instead of a guitar. Chyna takes control with the trash can and broom, but Jarrett comes back with the dreaded FLOUNDER OF DESPAIR to the back of Chyna. More household fun follows (including a testicular claw with tongs that hurts to even THINK about), and then they go to the 2nd screwy finish in two months. After a ref bump, Miss Kitty slides the IC Title into Jarrett, who whacks Chyna with it and gets a 3 count. However, Teddy Long reverses the decision and restarts the match because the belt is not a household object. B'lee dat. Jarrett gets kabonged with the guitar and Chyna gets the three count to win the Intercontinental title. It may be because the belt was a common object in my household, but I still can't figure out the logic for that besides "get the damn belt off Jarrett, he's going to WCW". A pretty entertaining brawl with a couple of cool spots, though, so **.
The Rock vs. The British Bulldog
This match was set up by a Rock Bottom into THE DOG POOP THE DOG POOP THE DOG POOP THE DOG POOP!! Bulldog takes the absolute worst Samoan Drop EVAR, though he might have thought it was a back body drop... I don't know. That was the only real down point in a pretty good match, if a little short. Bulldog's Powerslam gets 2 after a foot on the rope, and the 2nd try gets countered into a Rock Bottom. The People's Elbow follows, and it's academic. **1/2
Terri Invitational Tournament Ladder Match - Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz
This match has to be seen to be believed. My mere words can't do it justice. These four kids did just about EVERYTHING in this match, and here's the best four spots:
~A Downward Spiral off two ladders from Edge to one of the Hardys
~Jeff with a senton atomico onto a ladder with Christian sandwiched in between the sides
~Jeff dropping onto a ladder standing on another one, wiping out an opponent and Matt
~Christian with a Reverse DDT off the ladder
That's just the ones that impressed me, I'd say there were about ten others. The finish is unreal and I don't think it's been used since, and the bump Jeff takes after WINNING lives on in No Mercy the game. Oh, and the Hardyz win the services (managerial and otherwise) of Terri, but does that matter? *****, and it's my 1999 WWF MOTY.
Val Venis vs. Mankind
It's Socko vs. Rocko! This is the highest Val ever made it up the card, as far as I know. Val takes over pretty early after a brawl on the outside, but Mankind keeps fighting back. Val finally keeps Mankind down long enough for the Money Shot, but Foley rolls out of the way, drops Val with a double-arm DDT and here comes the sock! Val pulls out Rocko and it's dueling claws - Mandible Claw vs. Testicular Claw. Mankind falls back, though, and Val gets the three off that. Great effort from both guys, too bad Val never did anything with it. ***3/4
Four Corners Elimination Match - Kane vs. Bradshaw vs. Farooq vs. X-Pac
One of these things is not like the others
One of these things just doesn't belong
Can you tell me which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song...?
- Sesame Street
It takes a strange show to make me quote children's programming, let me tell you that. X-Pac wants to prove that he can hang with the big guys, and so this is booked. Acolytes wear out Kane early, so X-Pac makes a blind tag and gets creamed by the Acolytes. From there, it's a basic APA tag match as Farooq and Bradshaw are only tagging each other. X-Pac breaks out after five minutes or so of bumping and Kane tags in a HOSS AFIRE! Clotheslines! Boots! A Chokeslam to eliminate Bradshaw! But X-Pac comes off the top with a spinkick and eliminates Kane. Damn. Farooq pastes X-Pac to the mat with a spinebuster and goes up for a shoulderblock, but Pac counters into a side facebuster (or an ugly-looking X Factor) to pick up the win. An interesting match, and the Acolytes/Kane had their working boots on, so **3/4.
WWF Title, No Holds Barred - Triple H (c) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
I'd just like to mention that by their natures, No Holds Barred matches are no countout and no DQ, so why did Ross have to beat that into the viewer's head? *sigh* Vince McMahon swipes HHH's sledgehammer during his entrance, which lets Austin attack HHH from behind to open the match. They brawl around the staging area for a good ten minutes, including Austin bashing HHH with a crutch in the crowd, then (back in the entranceway) he smacks HHH with the boom camera. There's a great replay with the camera Austin used, too. They brawl down to the ringside area, where Mike Chioda gets bumped. Austin gets TEH STUNZOR~, but no ref. Chioda recovers enough to get on the apron, then goes flying into the barricade. Obviously, he's done for the night. HHH hits the Pedigree and Hebner sprints down for a two-count.
Austin keeps control with a Lou Thesz Press and elbow, before they head out to the floor. Trips goes over the table (blading all the while) and goes into the steps, but comes back with a SWANK~ bell shot and a suplex that doesn't break the table. Trips works the knee, and when that doesn't work, he grabs the chair. Austin is able to get the chair though, and beats the ever-loving CRAP out of HHH's knee with the chair (ref; Summerslam '99) while the crowd goes insane. Then the screwy finish, as the Rock comes down with a sledgehammer. He aims for HHH (who wasted him with said weapon after the Ladder match), but hits Austin with it. Oops. Pedigree on the Rock from HHH, and then he rolls over and gets 3 on Austin. They brawl to the back, but HHH escapes in a limo. Another great brawl with an insane crowd and some pretty cool spots. ****
Overall:
It's one of the better 1999 shows that I've seen, as Russo has buggered off to Turner land and there's some sanity left in the booking. If you FF past the first two matches, everything's at least two stars, and then there's the LADDER MATCH. Highly recommended.
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