A Chaotic Rant: ECW Barely Legal 1997
-There's an interesting story behind this show that pisses me off, but that's more due to me getting ripped off more than anything. I found this show and Anarchy Rulz 99 on Ebay for dirt Cheap. I believe Anarchy Rulz was like 4 bucks and this was like 3 bucks and after shipping it came to like 12 bucks I believe. Well I pay the guy for Barely Legal through paypal and add in the memo that Anarchy Rulz payment is added to here too. When I look in the mail... I only get Barely Legal. So I email the guy and tell him that I payed for both and he tells me to give him my address and he'll send the other tape to me. Well I gave him my address and the tape never came so needless to say I have sour memories everytime I watch this tape.
-Also note that I recapped this show throughout the past month and a half or so whenever I had freetime and felt like going through it so you may see a change in how I do things. Not very noticeably but a change as right now I'm feeling too sick to go back over the first half of the show.
- Coming from The Bingo Hall (AKA ECW Arena. I always liked Foley referringto it as the Bingo Hall, thus thats why I'm doing it here.) in Philly. Original airdate April 13, 1997
- Your host is Joey Styles
-Styles is in the ring pimping the card until he is interrupted by The Dudleys. Crowd lets out a heartfelt Fuck You to D-Von, but D-von makes sure to get the last laugh in and goes over the Commandments. How do we go from 1 to 5? I know the Dudleys aren't supposed to be too bright in this gimmick, but you think the morons could count to 10. Cheap heel comments from D-Von as when you look back at the way he looked and acted back then you are thinking the exact same things about him. We cut to the ECW opening Credits and then we get Gertner being annoying as usual in the middle of the ring.
-ECW Tag Titles: The Dudleys vs The Eliminators: Elminators start things off by showing the Dudleys how this thing will end up working by totally eliminating Sign Guy Dudley. The Dudleys pounce on the attack afterwards. Powerbomb from Buh Buh quickly backed up with a headbutt from D'von which is good for 2 on Kronus. Titl-a-whirl slam followed by a splash from the Dduleys to Saturn gets 2. Crossbody and a Suplex combo gets another 2 on Kronus. Saturn moonsaults over both Dudleys and dropkicks both of them and nails a pair of clothesline before Buh Buh slams him down. Kronus dodges a 3d attempt and hits Buh Buh with a spinning heel kick. Nice Double Team Sequence follows as they take out D-von with a pair of Roundhouses and Buh Buh with a pair of Superkicks as you almost want to here Joey Styles start screaming. LET THE SQUASHING BEGIN! Eliminators powerslam The Dudleys and then follow it up with twisting sentons cueing ECW chants and Dudleys bail to the outside for some Regrouping time. Eliminators knock both Dudleyz off the Apron and Kronus launches Saturn who moonsaults into D-von. That Saturn sure knows how to kick ass for a guy that's been misused his whole career. Kronus then takes out the Dudleys by turning a cartwheel into a moonsault. Springboard spinning heel kick by Saturn and Kronus insists on showing everyone he knows how to do a damn cartwheel by doing a cartwheel back elbow to Buh Buh. Saturn plans Buh Buh with an Elbow drop leaving D-von to get Destroyed by the eliminators. Satrun nails a double jump springboard moonsault as Kronus takes care of D-von. Kronus hits the 450 on D-von and then finish off Buh Buh by totally eliminating him for the 3 and the Tag Titles. Match was a fun and hot opener as the crowd and the eliminators kept it awesome with the spots. Match was basically a squash as the Eliminators allowed the Dudleys to get some offense in before just kicking their asses the rest of the match which causes me to drop this thing about 1/2* making it a ** rating overall. Gertner tries to claim the Dudleys the Victor on the Stud Scale or something to that extent O_o and the Eliminators thankfully shut him up by giving him the Total elimination.
-Chris Candido then shows up in the ring and bitches about being hurt and not being advertised as being apart of the show. He basically promises to get involved in the show in some form tonight and even teases when he might by taking shots at main event participants. This was basically a pointless promo formatted under the overused No Respect heel promo. These things normally lead to either A) The Person getting his ass kicked or B) The Person interfering pointlessly in one of the matches later on the card. Hmmmmmm I wonder which one he will choose *wink wink.*
-RVD vs Lance Storm: This was the Heel RVD era as Mr. Monday Night which draws a huge you sold out chant as Rob's WWF stint during this time I don't even think lasted a month. Pretty elementary wrestling to start. Both men get into an offensive exchange before RVD gains the upperhand by hitting an Armdrag, springboard into a crossbody, which gets maybe a one count. Robbie V then tosses storm to the outside and nails Storm with a flipping senton. RVD gets full of himself for a bit which is not unusual while waiting for Storm to get in the ring where he scoop slams Storm followed by a top rope leg drop for 2. Storm is whipped into the turnbuckle but leaps onto the turnbuckle and springs back at Rob with a back elbow. Storm front suplexes Rob across the top rope and then dropkicks him to the outside. Storm misses a plancha. Rob then gets up and springs onto the Apron which he uses to moonsault onto Lance. Rob then decides to whip Storm and grab a chair where he throws it at Storm knocking him down. Rob decides to waste time by taunting some more and then dropkicks a chair into the face of Storm who is convieniently sitting int he corner. Van Dam then nails a Double Underhook Facebuster followed by a Frog Splash onto Storm for 2. Yes it's just a Frog Splash as Rob hadn't reached the ***** limits of it yet. Van Dam throws the chair at Lance again. Storm finally gets a maneuver in as he hits like a reverse Powerslam onto the chair. Storm ducks a spinning heel kick, but shows Rob up by nailing Rob with a Spinning Heel kick of his own. Cartwheel splash followed by a flying crossbody get 2. Storm then floats RVD over into his trademark single Legged Crab as I mark out. They trade shoulder blocks before RVD leg drops Storm's head across the apron. Storm dodges a chairshot and hits one of his own as he then gets a sitout Powerbomb onto the chair for a 2 count. Storm comes off the top and leg drops Rob's face into the chair for another 2 count. They exchange again until RVD drapes Storm onto the top rope crotch first and hits a sloppy as hell slingshot back elbow cueing a you fucked up chant and a 2 count. German Suplex with a Bridge gets 2. Storm hits a pair of weak Chair shots before RVD Van Daminates him for the hell of it and hits a Standing moonsault for the victory. Match was really sloppy as there were alot of spots blown really more on Rob's part than anything else. It also hurts the case for any moronic RVD mark to claim about RVD's greatness and how even the ECW marks claim that Rob's stuff was better in ECW. I've seen quite a bit of Rob's ECW stuff and almost all of it sucks more than his WWE stuff. At least Rob gets motivated in WWE on rare occasions and has matches Break **** like his matches with Eddie G, Jericho, and The Ladder Match with Jeff Hardy, but Rob as a whole sucks, but anywho that's just my opinion and it happens to match that of alot of people, but that's beside the point I'd be doing an injustice by giving this match anything higher than *3/4 and that's what this thing gets.
Michinoku Pro 6 Man Tag: Taka Michinoku/Dick Togo/Mens Teioh vs Great Sasuke/Gran Hamada/Masato Yakushiji.: Now this is more right up my alley as like normal from Michi Pro aroudn this time you could expect to be amazed and to love the spotfests this put out. Would this one be any different? Taka and Hamada start off as Hamada gets an armdrag and then manhandles Taka with various moves before tagging Yakashiji who Does a Double Stomp onto a bent over Taka in what was a nice Double team move. Scoop Slam and a leg drop gets 2 for Yakashiji. Sasuke in now kicks the shit out of Taka until Taka blocks a suplex and tags in Teioh. Teioh comes in and snap mares Sasuke making all 3 members Taka's team follow each other up in quick succession with an elbow drop, a senton splash, and another elbow drop and then a pretty funny bit where they circle around Sasuke and start Flexing as the crowd goes Bannanas. Taka in gets a sidewalk slam in on Sasuke and thend oes a boston crab as Teioh locks him in a camel Clutch and Tago dropkicks Sasuke in the face. Togo in elbows the neck of Sasuke and then scoop slams him and gets a senton splash for 2. Yakashiji in and just gets knocked aroudn by Taka before Taka tags in Teioh who kicks Yakashiji in the face and then delivers a Stalling Suplex with a little spin added for 2. Togo in hits a flapjack and then another one gets reversed into a Hurricarana followed by a Tilt-a-whirl armdrag by Yakashiji. Taka in gets another Tilt-a-whirl countered into an armdra, Hamada and Teioh now in trade stiff punches before Hamada nails a Headbutt on Teioh. Hamada follows it up with an armdrag, but Taka comes to Togo's aid and after an exchange ends up getting stuck in an armbar. Back Suplex by hamada and a tag to Sasuke who applies a rear naked choke. Teioh in has a hot exchange of dodges and flips until Sasuke hits a twisting crossbody for. I now need a minute to calm my self down from the insane marking out I'm doing thusfar in this match. Yakashiji dropkicks Takaand then gets trappe din the bWo Corner. Teioh then twice attempts to throw Yakashiji out of the ring, but Yakashiji rolls back in both times. Baseball slide into a headscissors takeover to Teioh. Togo dropkicks Hamada in the face and then Hamada ducks a clothesline and gets a hurricarana for 2. Taka in gets small packaged for 2. All 3 members of Sauske's team club Taka in the back before Sasuke gets a single leg crab. Taka fights out of it long enough to turn it into an Enziguiri. Taka lays out Sasuke before Togo and Teioh come in and hit a double bulldog. Ouch this looks pretty painful as Togo and Teioh hold Sasuke upside down so Taka can dropkick him in the face allowing the bWo once again to Flex. Now a funny taunt/spot here as Taka and Teioh bend over Sasuke allowing Togo to grand Stand on top of Sasuke and Flex. They then put boots to each side of Sasuke's headas Togo Dropkicks Sasuke in the face and hits a delayed Suplex for 2. Tag to Teioh who gets a single leg takedown into a spinning toe hold on Sasuke. Teioh reverses a hip toss into a DDT which is a unique reversal for a hip toss to say the least. Taka and Yakashiji in as Taka nails a brainbuster for 2. Teioh back in boots him down and then slingshots him into a Togo Clothesline who then lays down with Sasuke arched so Taka can hit a knee drop off the to for 2. Togo with a Senton splash and then a back suplex for 2. Taka in has his way with Hamada for a bit before he and Togo get a Spike Piledriver. Yakashiji in gets whipped into a Triple Powerbomb for 2. They attempt the same on Sasuke and botch it before attempting it again only to have it reversed innto a Hurricarana. Sasuke ducks a double clothesline and comes back by nailing both men with a moonsault for 2. Handspring back elbow knocks Togo out of the ring Sasuke adds an Asai moonsault on top of that. Teioh reveres Hamada off the top rope into a Manhattan drop. Taka nails a springboard plancha to the outside. Yakashiji nails a springboard dropkick for 2, and then a moonsault for 2. Swining DDT from Teioh is followed by a chokeslam into a Powerbomb which gets 2 before Hamada breaks it up. Togo with a powerslam for 2. Leaping swining DDT from Hamada gets 2. Hamda then gets a Hurricarana countered into a Powerbomb by Togo for 2. Sasuke prevents a leaping senton and Hamada hurricaranas Togo for 2. Yakashiji takes out Togo with a leaping Hurricarana off the top rope followed by a suicide dive to the outside. Taka controls Sasuke and then hits a Michinoku Driver for 2 as Styles can't believe he kicked out. Sasuke dropkicks Taka in midair then spring board moonsaults him for 2. Powerbomb and a Tiger Suplex are enough to finish as Sasuke picks up the victory. Match was completely awesome and basically put alot of life into this crowd and put alot of life into me with the non stop action. Michi Pro are one of the few promotions out there who can constantly have Spot for Spot matches and still have classics most times especially around this time period. One Botched Spot is the only black mark on this thing however and prevents this from getting the full monty. ****3/4
-ECW Television Title Match: Shane Douglas vs Pitbull 2: The story here is basically Shane Douglas broke Pitbull #1's neck and Pitbull 2 is out for revenge. This story is kinda similar to the current Lesnar/Holly feud and I can only pray that their match isn't as bad as this one was and isn't worked like this. Shane also has a riot squad to protect him as apparently the stip of the match is that if Shane wins then the Masked man (Which anyone watching ECW at the time already knew who it was has to unmask). I'm gonna save myself alot of time and sanity in this match and give a summary of it because after a while of recapping it I finally said to hell with writing the rest down and watched the rest finished. Shane comes out to the ring with Francine who looks as slutty as usual. He then grabs a mic and kisses his own ass to start wasting time. Pitbull 2 then rushes the ring and attacks as they slug it out. The Match then turns into very sloppy neck wrenches and moves as both men try to break the other's neck. I basically can summarize the moves pulled in here in a sentence sloppy wrestling, stalling, low blows, etc. The Crowd gets so bored throughout this match that they literally chant for a 3 count and then try to amuse themselves by insulting Francine, which all they're really doing is making obvious statements by calling her a whore and what not. Pitbull 1 attacks Douglas midway through the match but is stopped by the Riot Squad. Finally this match is mercifully over when Candido interferes giving Shane enough time to hit that Deadly Belly to Belly of Doom for the 3. SMELL THE SARCASM. Match was brutally bad and thus made it brutal to watch. Not even the crowd trying to keep themselves entertained got this much redeeming value as This was 20 minutes of life sucking after that Michinoku pro put life back in the crowd. I tried to be generous and give this thing a DUD but the more I watched the more I hated this match so it gets -**. No that's not a hyphen seperating the rating from the sentence that's a Negative.
-After the match the masked man comes out and even has a Rick Rude Robe on as he kisses Francine making Douglas and Candido Double up as a member of the Riot Squad makes the save and removes the helmet to reveal Rick Rude the masked man is shown to be Brian Lee as both men cleaned house. I don't believe this went anywhere as I believe Rude left to be the insurance Policy for DX in the WWF shortly thereafter and Brian Lee became a member of DOA if I'm not mistaken. Which is kinda funny in hindsight as I don't remember Rude being in the WWF for too long either... Actually I remember flipping back between RAW and Nitro one night and Rude was on Both that night and I was like WTF, but back then I didn't know that RAW wasn't live so which left Bischoff to pull alot of stunts to try to steal ratings from the WWF and at one instance it backfired as when WCW announced Foley as being crowned the new WWF Champion everyone flipped over to RAW its kinda funny how those things work no?
-Taz vs Sabu: This was supposed to be some big blowoff payoff to a long running feud. They Trade Blows to start but Taz gets the better of Sabu in the end with a clothesline. Tazmission attempt is blocked into a hiptoss into an armbar. They trade submissions and waist locks for a bituntil Taz finally gets a drop toe hold into an ankle lock. Sabu attempts to go for Taz's leg but gets body scissored and pounded the crap out of for his troubles instead. Sabu starts bleeding from the nose cueing a blood chant from the crowd. Taz stays on the attack a bit before Sabu dropkicks Taz in the knee and gets a unique springboard back kick. They Ttake it outside and go into the crowd. Sabu then grabs a chair and goes Air Sabu from the ring all the way into the crowd spawning a huge EC DUB chant. They brawl through th ecrowd for a bit and then Sabu uses the chair to attempt a flying clothesline off of but Taz dodges makin him get hung up on the guard rail instead and Taz then clotheslines him over the guard rail. Back in the ring now as Taz hits a droptoehold and puts Sabu in what looks like a STF and a Bo and arrow if that makes any sense. They trade blows on the mat for a bit before taz applies a body scissors adn an arm bar. Enziguri by Sabu. Somersault legdrop by Sabu. Sabu throws a chair at taz in the corner and then springboards of the chair into a kick in the corner and attempts it again and misses the second try and gets flapjacked onto the chair instead. Cover gets 2 as Taz then nails a clothelsine for 2. Taz reverses an Irish whip into a sidewalk slam. Sabu then sends Taz to the outside and attempts to follow it up with a triple jump plancha, but misses and then taz just easily belly to bellys Sabu over the guard rail into the crowd. Alfonso sets a table up placed on the guardrail and the apron. Taz and Sabu end up both on the apron battling for who gets to put who through the table. Sabu goes for a Tornado DDT but Taz reverses it in mid move and sends Sabu crashing downward through the table insted. They trade blows on the outside before bringing it back in the ring. Taz then hits a single leg takedown on Sabu leading to more exchange of shots before Sabu gains the upper hand by hitting a hurricarana off the top for a 2 count. Sabu then performs a leg drop off the Ring Post which had extremely nice elevation. They trade pretty weak shots on the outside before getting back in. Sabu reverses a T Bone suplex into one of his own and the locks Taz into a Tazmission, but Taz reverses it with a Back Suplex and then finally finishes it off with a pair of Tazplexes before locking Sabu in the Tazmission making Sabu pass out to gain Taz the victory. Like I said earlier this was supposed to be a big payoff to end a feud and what we got was far from a blow away match. Match was just plain decent and was a basic formalic ECW style match at the time and that makes it decent enough to get a **1/2 rating.
-The Angle that ensues after the match is more important than the match if you ask me as Taz does the respect thing with Sabu and they turn all buddy buddy for a few minutes before RVD comes in and he and Sabu double up on Taz. Bill Alfonso then gets in the ring and reveals a Sabu shirt and says that he had money on Sabu to win and Taz costed him that money. RVD then does his pretty famous PPV Superstar which IMO is RVD's best Promo.
-Styles informs us that Tommy Dreamer will be the guest commentator for the following matchup.
-Big Stevie Cool vs Sandman vs Terry Funk: The winner here faces Raven immediately following this for the ECW title. All 3 men headlock each other to start. Funk and Sandman then double up on Stevie and then all 3 men get into a chop fest. School boy by Stevie gets 2. Funk then puts Sandman in a spinning toe hold long enough for Stevie to hit funk with a clothesline. Sandman and Stevie double up on Funk as Sandman lifts Stevie up in the air to leg drop funk. Second time through Sandman belly to back suplexes Stevie instead. Funk then gives Stevie 4 neckbreakers which isn't enough to get the job done as it only gets 2. Sandman tosses a ladder at Funk and then suplexes it onto Stevie. He then suplexes it onto Funk for another 2 count. DDT to Stevie by Sandman. Funk Hammers Sandman on top of the turnbuckle and then Moonsaults off the ladder onto Stevie as Sandman then picks up the ladder and slams it off the top turnbucks onto Stevie. Sandman stares at both men a bit beforeslamming Stevie onto Funk and gets a 2 count. Funk then headbutts Stevie for 2. Sandman gets whipped into the ladder which is placesd in the corner by stevie for a 2 count. Stevie scoop slams funk for 2. Elbow and a fist drop onto funk by both men gets Stevie a 2 count. Funk knocks the ladder over with both men on it and then picks up the ladder and takes out both men with a helicopter effect. Sandman and Funk trade head shots into the ladder and punches long enough for Stevie to leap of the turnbuckle and get a see saw effect to take out both Sandman and Funk. Stevie nails both men with a pair of Stevie kicks which gets a pair of 2 counts. Outside Sandman dumps Stevie into the crowd and sets the ladder on the guard rail so he can plancha the onto the ladder to uppercut into Stevies Jaw. Terry hits both men with chairshots. Back in the ring Funk gets a Stalling suplex on Stevie and then gets hit in the head with a trashcan thrown in the ring by sandman before getting a 2 count. Stevie gets suplexed onto the trashcan by Funk for 2 as I begin to pity Stevie for being subject to most of the punishment in this match. Funk and Sandman double up on Stevie a bit longer before finally getting a Double Powerbomb to keep him down long enough for 3 as Stevie fought his longest to survive. Sandman fires off punches on Funk before getting dumped over the apron. This leads to Sandman grabbing barbed wire hidden under the streamers much to the ECW fan's delights. Funk nails Sandman with the sheet metal before pulling his shirt over his head and whipping Sandy's back continously with barbed wire. Sandman then wraps the barbedwire around himself and gets a few avalanches and a leg drop off the ladder for a 2 count. Stevie decides to join back in the fun as he gets nailed with the barbe wire as Funk Covers Sandman's head with the Trashcan and punches it for a minute or two before Stevie Stevie kicks the the trashcan and a Funker moonsault is enough to get the Job Done for the 3 count and Raven immediately enters the ring. Match was just a fun an entertaining match for what was a pretty crappy one. **
ECW Title Match: Raven vs Terry Funk: The bell sounds with Raven nailing Funk with the title belt. Drop Toe Hold onto the chair and then Raven nails Funk with the chair as Terry begins bleeding like a Stuck Pig. The Referee and doctor comes to the ring to check on Terry as Raven continues to stomp Terry to keep him down and to open up the wound even more. Raven sets up a table on the outside which he suplexes onto funk and then sets up another one where he Plants funk through it with a corkscrew plancha. The Flock enters the ring as Reggie Bennett (Whoever that is) Hits Funk with a chair and then Powerbombs him as Raven tells Dreamer that hes going to put Terry through 3 tables and end his career at Dreamer's feet. They stare off as Big Dick Dudley hits Dreamer with a Trashcan and Raven DDTs the Referee. Dreamer then blocks a Chokeslam attempt and Chokeslams Big Dick instead off the announcers position through 3 tables making the Crowd go absolutely apeshit. Dreamer then makes way for the ring and reverses a Irish Whip into a DDT as Funk gets 2 and the follows it up for the 3 count and the ECW Title. Funk then celebrates at ringside a bloody mess as the show goes off the air. The match sucked but watching the fans react to Dreamer is always great. DUD
Final Thoughts: All in all this is just a fun show which is all you can ask for on ECW. I enjoyed this show the first time I watched it and various parts of the show I still enjoy watching today. Only thing I'd advise you to do is to Fast Forward for a good 20 minutes when the Douglas match starts to save you alot of time and sanity. If all you're looking for in a show is great wrestling then this show probably won't before you although I advise that you go out of your way to find The Michinoku Pro match on the show and anything of Michinoku Pro from around this time period. If you are looking for a show to be entertained by then by all means pick this thing up and get ready to mark out like a madman for the Michi Pro match while fast forwarding through the Pitbull 2/Douglas Match.
Until next time whether it be Wrestlemania 3 or Royal Rumble 2004 this is "The Chaotic One" Matt Chaos signing off to get some rest.
Recommended Show.
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