WWF Wrestlemania I
Vince McMahon runs down the card, with Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura having the call for the show.
We kick off with Mean Gene Okerlund singing the National Anthem, which he has cue cards for. Put it this way, he's no Lillian Garcia.
Lord Alfred Hayes intros the opening match, and then sends it down to ringside.
Tito Santana vs The Executioner
This Executioner is not Terry Gordy. He's from Parts Unknown, with weight unknown. What, so nobody had any scales in MSG? Tito, at this time, is a former Intercontinental Champion, and a long way away from going to bullfighting school.
They lock up, and begin a Criss-Cross, as the ropes bounce higher than Rikishi after a clothesline. Tito stops and manages to get a backdrop, and a dropkick that sends the Executioner outside. Another lock up leads to a headlock from Tito, and then he takes him down Dudley-Dog style, holding the headlock the whole time. The Executioner breaks out, but then Tito works the head.
The Executioner mounts a comeback with a kick to the gut, before attacking the head of Tito. A low knee and a kick to the midsection follow, but a figure 4 attempt fails. He works on Tito's legs a little more, but Tito eventually breaks free, firing back with kicks and punches.
After a corner whip, Tito goes for a neck ringer, but it's countered into a backdrop. The Executioner hits a slam and goes up top, but gets pitched back to the mat, Flair-style. Tito tries a splash, but the Ex gets his knees up. He tries to work Tito's legs again, but ends up getting kicked out of the ring. Tito slams him back inside, and then bounces off the ropes for the flying jalopena. Tito then attempts a figure 4 of his own, which is applied successfully. The Executioner, having not had his legs worked on at all during the course of the match, has no option but to submit.
This gets *. Nothing offensive, but nothing special either. Tito could at least have worked the leg before trying for the Figure 4. On a sidenote, this would be Tito's one and only win at Wrestlemania.
King Kong Bundy (w/Jimmy Hart) vs SD Jones
The bell rings, and Jones charges at Bundy, only to get caught in a bearhug. Bundy rams him into the corner, and then gets the Avalanche on him. This is followed up by a big splash for the 3 count.
A pure DUD squash match. The time of the fall is announced as 9 seconds. In actuality, the time from bell to bell was 23 seconds, which is what Gorilla Monsoon states was the former record time for a fall.
Ricky Steamboat vs Matt Borne
Borne is the future evil Doink the Clown. For now, he's just a maniac, and for some reason he mocks Superfly Snuka's taunt at the start of the match.
They lock up, into a whip. Borne avoids a double-chop attempt by Steamboat at first, but is unsuccessful second time around. Ricky gets a chinlock on, and turns it into a headlock. Borne tries to use a back suplex to break the hold, but Steamboat flips over and gets the headlock back on again. He tries the same thing again, and this time Steamboat gives him an atomic drop for his trouble. He then applies the headlock again.
This time, Borne is able to escape with a Manhatten Drop, before taking brief control. However, after a whip to the corner, Steamboat gets a headscissors on Borne to take him down, before hitting an axehandle from the top, followed by chops. Steamboat returns to the headlock, and then applies a front face lock.
Borne backs Ricky to the corner, and then fires off with some knees, followed by a nice belly to belly. A snap suplex gets a 2-count, before Steamboat fires back with chops. Borne trades these chops for punches, but eventually goes down. Steamboat then hits a back suplex, and a cooly executed spinning neckbreaker. A throat chop and knee drop follow this, but only result in a 2-count.
Borne rakes the eyes, and then whips Steamboat. As both wrestlers bounce off the ropes, Steamboat connects with what looks to be a flying headbutt, but Ventura refers to as a double chop. Sensing his opportunity, Steamboat goes up top, and hits the flying crossbody for the 3-count.
Definitely worthy of **1/2, and could have got more if it had gone on longer.
Brutus Beefcake (w/Johnny Valiant) vs David Sammartino (w/Bruno Sammartino)
David Sammartino is Bruno's son, and falls into the same category as guys like Dustin Rhodes and David Flair, where the son will never be as insanely over as the father. Right here at Wrestlemania, Bruno gets a big ol' pop, in comparison to the much weaker one for David.
After 3 minutes of stalling with their respective corner men, the competitors lock up, as Bruti shoves David to the corner. As David tries to lock up again, Bruti avoids him and starts to strut. An angry Sammartino retaliates with a shove, and a drop toe hold.
Another lock up, leads to a go-behind, which is reversed by Bruti, who then takes David down. Sammartino tries to break free, and ends up pitching Beefcake out of the ring to do so. On the outside, Valiant complains to the referee that Sammartino is greased up. Back inside again, and another lock up. This time David gets a hammerlock, and then moves into a front facelock, which Bruti breaks with the ropes. With the hold broken, they lock up...AGAIN...and then Sammartino executes an armbar.
Bruti tries to break the hold with a slam, but David manages to hold onto the arm. Eventually the hold is broken, and is followed with, you've guessed it, another lock up. This is about five minutes into the match now, and they're still locking up. This time we get a side headlock, a take down, and then a shoulderblock and hip toss from Bruti. As he goes to pick up Sammartino, David kicks back and then executes another drop toe hold, before going to work on the leg of Beefcake.
Although Bruti tries to resist this leg work, he eventually gets caught with a spinning toe hold. An eye rake breaks this after a short period of time. Bruti comes back with a back drop, completely no-selling the leg that Sammartino has just worked on, and then hits a slam. Sammartino appears weakened, as Bruti pounds away on him in the corner.
David eventually fights back, getting a backdrop, and then hitting a suplex for a 2-count. As he tries to gain more momentum though, Bruti headbutts him in the midsection, and then tosses him outside. On the outside, Valiant picks up David and slams him, causing Bruno to come over and chase Beefcake's manager into the ring. Valiant and Beefcake double team Bruno, until David comes back in to make the save. The referee calls for the bell, and signals for a Double Disqualification, despite the fact that the Sammartino's didn't actually do anything wrong.
This is another DUD, due to not getting going properly, Beefcake's no-selling of the leg, and the pointless finish. This match got way more time than a lot of more deserving matches.
Greg Valentine (c) (w/Jimmy Hart) vs Junkyard Dog Ð WWF Intercontinental Title
Champ and Challenger circle the ring before locking up. JYD gets started by working the arm. Valentine tries to come back with a kick, but the Dog grabs him and nails a big right hand. They lock up again, as Valentine attempts to take control, however, after missing an elbow drop, he falls victim to the cheesy-looking headbutts of JYD.
They try a test of strength now. Valentine shows some early power, but ends up having to break out of the hold and punch his opponent. He then begins to work on JYD's leg, softening it up for the figure 4 with elbows, kicks, and a modified half crab. After a headbutt to the midsection, Valentine tries for the figure 4, but JYD manages to kick him off. To his credit, JYD is actually selling the leg. Perhaps he should have had some words with Mr Beefcake after the show. The two now trade blows, before the Dog gets the upper hand with some headbutts.
As JYD gets the advantage, Jimmy Hart gets up on the apron to distract the challenger, but gets caught. Valentine runs at JYD, but only ends up nailing his own manager. The Dog pounds the Champ into the corner, but being the dastardly heel that he is, Valentine sweeps out JYD's legs and covers him with his feet on the ropes for the 3-count, and the victory. Or does he?
After the decision, Tito Santana runs down to ringside to protest the decision. The referee, deciding to throw the rulebook out of the window, chooses to believe Tito and restarts the match. Only trouble is, Valentine is on the outside, and is not interested in coming back. The referee counts to 10, and the Junkyard Dog wins by count-out, but Valentine still retains.
I was going to give this *, as it was nothing special but didn't outstay it's welcome. However, the pointless ending has caused me to bump it down to 3/4*. Ultimately, if Tito and Valentine have problems with one another, why didn't they have them fight at Mania instead of sticking Tito in a pointless opener?
Barry Windham & Mike Rotundo (c) (w/Captain Lou Albano) vs. Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Shiek (w/Classy Freddie Blassie) Ð WWF Tag Team Titles
Volkoff sings the Soviet National Anthem to get us started, as the disrespectful NYC fans boo and throw litter. You'd think that there was some sort of Cold War going on.
Rotundo (IRS, in case you didn't know) and Shiek (later Colonel Mustafa, in case you cared) get things started, while Windham (later The Stalker, as I'm sure you'd like to forget) watches on. Shiek gets a headlock, and then hits a shoulderblock. Rotundo fires back with a hiptoss, drop kicks and a slam, followed by a headlock takedown.
Windham comes in to the match off the top rope, and executes a headlock of his own. However, he's backed to the heel corner, where Volkoff grabs him. Shiek attempts to dropkick Windham, but ends up hitting his own partner. This apparently constitutes a tag, as an angry Volkoff ends up in the ring against the all-American boys. The champs work on the arm, with armbars and axehandles off the top rope. Eventually though, Volkoff gets the better of Rotundo and brings in the Shiek.
A backdrop and an elbow drop earn a 2-count, as does a gut wrench suplex that the Shiek follows up with. Rotundo is able to block a suplex twice, before hitting one of his own, however Shiek is able to tag in Volkoff before Rotundo can reach his partner. He tries to gain the upper hand, getting a hammerlock, but he fails to maintain it, and also a sunset flip for a 2-count, but ultimately only ends up as heel fodder as Volkoff takes control.
The heels continue to double team, while the managers clash on the outside. Rotundo finally manages to get the hot tag to Windham after hip tossing out of an abdominal stretch from the Shiek. Big Barry comes in and hammers away on Volkoff, hitting his signature bulldog for a 2-count, which the Shiek breaks up. He eats a dropkick from Rotundo for this, knocking the former WWF champion to the outside. As the referee tries to get Mike out of the ring, the Shiek takes Fred Blassie's cane and smashes it on the back of Windham's head, knocking him out cold. Volkoff gets the cover, and the 3-count, and we have new WWF Tag Team Champions, much to the disgust of the crowd.
This is a ** affair. Standard tag team wrestling, with a classic heel finish. Mean Gene interviews the new Champs after the match, and upon asking about the cane, Blassie denies ever having one in the first place.
We now cut to Lord Alfred Hayes, who explains the concept of the slam match, before going to a pre-taped interview with Bobby Heenan and Big John God...I mean, Studd. Sorry, so easy to get those two confused.
Big John Studd (w/Bobby Heenan) vs Andre the Giant - $15,000 Slam Match
The rules are simple, first man to hit a body slam wins. If Andre wins, he gets $15,000 of John Studd's money, if Studd wins, Andre must retire. For trivia buffs, Andre is listed and announced at 476lbs for this match.
Further disrespectful behaviour is evident from the NY crowd, as someone has a sign saying "Studd is a Dud". By gawd, d'you have no schoul?
Studd attacks before the bell, but Andre chops back at him, before a big headbutt puts BJS down and out. Back in the ring, they lock up, and Andre chokes Studd in the corner, before doing some work on the big man's head, and then butt-bumping him in the corner. Studd manages to fight back and go for a slam, but he's unable to lift Andre off his feet.
The Giant battles back, and puts on a bearhug, as the MSG fans start a "slam" chant, which must be the 1985 equivalent of "we want tables". Try as he might, Studd can't break the bearhug, and eventually Andre chooses to release it himself, before working on Studd's back. Studd attempts to battle back, only to get caught in a sleeper by Andre, which he then switches into a side headlock.
Andre again works on the head, followed by the shoulder of Studd. He whips him into the ropes and puts his head down early for a backdrop. Studd anticipates this and tries to kick Andre in the head, but the Giant grabs his foot and then hits some more punches. Andre backs Studd into the corner and fires away with punches, and kicks to John's legs, leaving him groggy. Sensing the opportunity, Andre picks Studd up and slams him for the win.
This is another ** affair. Nothing pretty, nothing fancy, and basically a squash, but a good spot of psychology by Andre. They could quite easily have just had blocked slam attempt after blocked slam attempt, but instead Andre worked over the entire body of Studd, to the point where he was easy pickings for slam.
After the match, Andre attempts to distribute the money to the crowd, but Heenan runs in and steals the bag away as he and Studd leave.
Back to Lord Alfred Hayes, who gives some insight into the upcoming Women's title match, and then gets a kiss from the Fabulous Moolah for his troubles. At a guess, Moolah must be around 105 at this point in time. We then cut to a pre-taped interview with Wendi Richter and Lita. No wait, that's Cyndi Lauper. Hard to tell the difference really. This is followed up by another pre-taped interview with Moolah and Leilani Kai. It's time for a title match
Leilani Kai (c) (w/Moolah) vs Wendi Richter (w/Cyndi Lauper) Ð WWF Women's Title
The two women lock-up and battle to the corner, before scrambling away on the canvas. Another lock-up leads to a takedown, as Richter gets a hammerlock on, which Kai struggles to break. Richter repeatedly lifts the champ up and throws her to the ground as she maintains this hold.
Kai eventually breaks the hammerlock with a couple of snapmares, and then gets a 2-count, before applying an armbar. Twice Kai pulls Wendi's hair to take her down in the hold, before continuing to work on the arm. The two then trade blows, before Kai pulls a spot more hair, and then hits another snapmare.
As Wendi battles up, she gets caught in a choke. To counter this, Richter applies a body scissors to the champ. As they both get up, an attempted gut wrench fails miserably, and then Wendi hits a small package for a 2-count. Kai goes back to work on her challenger's hair, which is not particularly clever, as losing clumps of hair is not going to stop you from kicking out of a pin, not unless you're incredibly vain.
Kai whips Richter to the corner, but eats feet as she moves in. She backs the champ up to the ropes, but Moolah tries to get involved, which causes Cyndi Lauper to come after her.
After a boot to the gut from Kai off an irish whip, Richter begins to fight back. After a whip of her own, Richter gets Kai up on her shoulders, and hits a move similar to Cena's FU, only she flips Kai down so that the champ's head is facing away from her body. She tries to follow this up with an attack in the corner, but Leilani gets her knees up to counter. A backbreaker gets a two count, and then Kai slams Richter before going up to the top rope.
Kai goes for a crossbody (to call it a flying crossbody would be overly praising it), but Richter rolls through with the move to get the 3-count and regain the title.
This is only really worth 1/2*. A pretty sloppy match, during which nothing of note really happened, other than the title change. After the match, Richter gets a shot on Moolah, who ends up tripping over the ropes as she tries to run away. Thankfully, this is many years before the days of "You ****ed up".
Main Event Time!
Howard Finkel announces that it's main event time, and the special guests are introduced. Billy Martin is the guest ring announcer, Pat Patterson is the in-ring referee (this was long before the days when Patterson being named referee was the most evil concept possible), Muhammad Ali is the outside referee, and Liberace is the guest time keeper. That's right folks, Pat Patterson and Liberace within close quarters of one another. The pink flag is flying at Wrestlemania!
Hulk Hogan & Mr. T (w/Jimmy Snuka) vs. Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff (w/Bob Orton Jr.)
The Bagpipe band leads the heels to the ring, and then the MSG crowd blows its top for the Hulkster and T.
Orndorff and Hogan both start in the ring, but Piper wants in, so Mr Wonderful obliges. As the tag is made, T screams to Hogan for a tag, and the WWF Champion duly makes one.
The two go nose to nose, before trading a couple of slaps. Piper manages to take Mr. T down, but the one-time Clubber Lang breaks free, thus angering the Rowdy Scot. They then lock up, but this breaks down, and then T executes a fireman's carry on Piper, before dropping him to the mat. He could quite easily of adding his patented "I ain't getting on no Aeroplane Spin foo'" move, but he obviously chose not to.
Getting angrier by the second, Piper backs T to the corner, where Orndorff tries to get involved, and then all hell breaks loose, as partners, managers and Ali all step into the ring. Upset at what has gone down so far, Piper and Orndorff decided they've had enough, so they take their Bob Orton-shaped ball and attempt to go home. Patterson gets up to 7 on his count, but Hogan distracts him to break it, and then begs his opponents to return to the ring.
Piper and Orndorff oblige, but soon get pounded on by Hogan and T. The faces bang the heels' heads together, before Hulk starts cleaning house and then nails an atomic drop on Piper. He then bounces Piper's head off the mat, before tagging Mr T. Piper eats a double clothesline, followed by a hip toss sandwich between two slices of slam. After tasting Hogan's knee for dessert, the Hulkster is back in. The Big Boot sends Piper over the top and to the outside. This causes Orndorff to come in, and knock Hogan out there too, where Piper nails him with a chair to the back.
Back in the ring, Piper and Orndorff work Hogan over in the corner, constantly taunting T to get in, so that Patterson is left distracted while they double-team. After a double atomic drop, Ali decides to exert his authority by entering the ring again, while Orndorff works on Hogan's head. After a big suplex, Piper comes in with right hands and a kneelift for 2. Mr Wonderful then gets another go at the champ, getting an elbow off the top, and a backbreaker. He goes to the well once too often though, missing a kneedrop off the top, which allows Hogan to tag Mr T.
T cleans house briefly, but then gets attacked by Piper. The heels put the boots to the actor and put him down, before Piper puts on a front facelock. T manages to break out of this and tag Hogan back in. The Hulkster runs wild with punches, and a double noggin-knocker. As Hogan punches Orndorff from a headlock position, Mr Wonderful counters with a back suplex. Piper then walks in to distract Pat Patterson, as Bob Orton attempts to interfere, only to be cut off by a headbutt from Jimmy Snuka.
As Patterson tries to get Snuka out, Orndorff locks Hogan in a full nelson. Piper tries to clock the champ from this position, but T cuts him off and takes him to the corner. Patterson tries to break them up, as Orndorff turns around, so that Orton can come off the top and nail Hogan with his cast. At the last split second, Hogan is able to turn himself, and Orndorff takes the cast to the back of the head. Snuka takes Orton out of the equation, as Hogan covers for the 3-count and the first of many Wrestlemania victories.
Worth *1/2 is this one. Again, as with most of the night, nothing particularly offensive, but not exactly mind-blowing either. After the match, Piper clocks Pat Patterson and walks out with Orton. Orndorff is brought to his feet by the faces, but doesn't want their help, and walks off alone. Hogan poses down in the ring, and then we go backstage for an interview with the winners. Hogan closes the interview by saying "now can you dig that". Sadly, but expectedly, he doesn't walk away only to come back and yell "suckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".
All that's left now is for Gorilla and Jesse to close up the show, and then the end credits roll. Executive Producer Vince McMahon, eh? What is this, the Scorpion King?
Overall, this is an interesting little show to watch, but doesn't really have the sort of Wrestlemania-feel that we've come to expect over the years. Worth checking out, but don't expect to have your mind blown. Just remember though, this is where it all began, for the very first time.
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