Burning Hammer Tape Review #4
CellJr300 On
WCW: Slamboree 2000
May 07, 2000
--Taped from Kansas City, MO
--Your hosts are Scott Hudson and the two idiots Tony Schiavone & Mark Madden
--WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match: Artist (W/Paisley) V. Chris Candido (W/Tammy). Artist screws up a reversal sequence right off the bat, but he does eventually hit a nice German Suplex for 2. They screw up a Hiptoss, and just tumble to the ground instead. Artist barely gets Candido over for a Powerbomb, as the crowd starts with the boos. Candido blows a top-rope Hurracanrana, and then Artist blows a Sunset Flip, as the crowd completely turns on the match chanting "you suck" at both guys. The ref then completes the triangle of suck by screwing up and counting 3 on what was only supposed to be a 2 count, so of course they ignore it and continue the match. Candido gets the pin at 8:01 with a top-rope Kamikaze Headbutt. -* This was just brutal, with both guys blowing spots all over the place.
--WCW Hardcore Championship, Handicap, Falls Count Anywhere Match: Norman Smiley, Ralphus V. Terry Funk. Smiley sheds his "Screamin" gimmick early on, laying into Funk with some pretty good shots. They have a real good brawl going until Smiley goes back to the "Screamin" persona, and Ralphus gets involved by tossing empty cardboard boxes at Funk. Funk slips on what was supposed to be a Bodyslam to Smiley, so instead it ends up being more like a Northern Lights Bomb on the cement. Funk gets the pin at 10:06 with a Rollup on Smiley. * The parts with Smiley & Funk featured some good brawling, but anything involving Ralphus, while funny, was horrendously bad.
--Shawn Stasiak V. Curt Hennig. This was when Stasiak was imping Hennig's former Mr. Perfect gimmick, except he called himself "The Perfect One." The problem was, that since he couldn't wrestle like Hennig it ultimately went nowhere. Nothing really going on, until Stasiak injects some much needed life into the match with a Sleeper. I've got to ask, is there something in the water in Kansas City, because the crowd goes totally apeshit when Stasiak applies the Sleeper. Seriously people, it's a damn Sleeper. Stasiak gets the pin at 7:55 with a Fisherman's Suplex. * This was very boring, as were most Hennig matches when he wasn't the least bit interested in being out there.
--WCW United States Championship Match: Captain Rection V. Scott Steiner (W/Midaja & Shakira). Before the match, High Morrus officially changes his name to Hugh G. Rection, or Captain Rection for short. Ah, dick jokes, they're what made Vince Russo such a great writer, don Ôcha know. I can understand why WCW kept Midaja as Steiner's only hoochie when they were firing valets, but man is Shakira hot. Steiner stalls, stalls, and then stalls some more. Steiner gets a good looking Exploder Suplex. Steiner goes back to his main source of offense in this match, stalling. Steiner can barely get Rection over for a Butterfly Powerbomb, so he almost kills Rection as a result. Steiner gets the submission at 9:24 with a Steiner Recliner. *1/2 Pretty boring stuff, with Steiner stalling way too much.
--Mike Awesome V. Chris Kanyon. Awesome opens up with a SWEET~ no-hands Plancha to the outside. Kanyon with a nice Somersault Senton off the apron to the outside. Awesome hits a nice top-rope Clothesline for 2. Awesome with a Slingshot Splash for 2. Kanyon uses a SWANK~ top-rope Neckbreaker for 2. Fireman's Carry Flapjack by Kanyon gets 2. Awesome gets a vicious Spinebuster. Awesome follows that up with a sick looking Powerbomb, where he drops Kanyon straight down on his neck. Awesome then uses a wicked Release German Suplex where he once again drops Kanyon right on his neck. Ah fuck, Kevin Nash decides to waddle down to ringside along with other members of the Millionaire's Club & New Blood to cause a double-disqualification at 12:01 and ruin a perfectly good match. ***1/2 Fuck, this match was smoking, and then they had to go and ruin it with interference.
--Total Package V. Buff Bagwell. I do believe this feud was over who took whose steroids. You want some classic mat wrestling, then this match is for you. This is the mat classic that all other matches aspire to be. Angle/Benoit? Nothing compared to this match. Flair/Steamboat? Far inferior to the match at hand. Misawa/Kobashi? Tiger Driver Ô91 you say, Burning Hammer you say. Piff, I say Torture Rack and Buff Blockbuster, that's what I say. Package gets the submission at 9:30 with a Torture Rack. DUD Now, you may ask how I could give such a classic match such a bad rating. Well, this match is beyond stars, its greatness cannot be properly appreciated, thus the rating.
--Shane Douglas V. Ric Flair. This was when Flair was wrestling in street clothes all the time, which didn't really add to the Flair mystique. If Flair wins, he gets 5 minutes alone with Russo. Douglas applies a Figure Four Leglock early on. Weird spot, as Douglas was going for a Vertical Suplex, but stopped mid-move and just slammed Flair into the mat, making it more of a Bodyslam. He must have been either really sloppy, or really pissed at something when he performed that move. Flair just goes to town with Low Blows, hitting Douglas with about four hard ones in a row. Douglas gets the pin at 8:46 after interference from David Flair, who was dressed as Sting, hit his father with a baseball bat. ** A bunch of shit happens post-match, but it doesn't really matter, so whatever.
--Vampiro V. Sting. They start out fighting on the ramp way. Sting appears to be energized tonight, hitting a Missile Dropkick & a top-rope Plancha to the outside. Vampiro breaks up the good wrestling by bringing a lead pipe into play. Sting hits a nice middle-rope Powerbomb, then he starts with the lead pipe action. Sting gets the pin at 6:49 after a pair of Scorpion Deathdrops. **1/2 The match was good in the beginning & end, but it really suffered from when the lead pipe came into play.
--Billy Kidman (W/Torrie Wilson) V. Hulk Hogan (W/Horace Hogan). Eric Bischoff is your special guest referee, and he brings Kimberly with him, and my God her funbags appear to be extra huge tonight. Ahem, Bischoff sends Horace to the back. This was during the "Stone Cold" Hulk Hogan era, and it sucked about as much as you would think. Kidman hits a nice looking Hurracanrana on Hulk, and that's just weird seeing Hulk move like that. May I just say Schiavone calling Hulk, Terry Bollea every other second is really annoying. It's almost as annoying as Madden covering for the fact that Hogan refuses to job by saying "winning doesn't really matter" every chance he gets. Kidman takes an insane Hiptoss from Hogan over the top-rope to the outside. It's also annoying watching a fan in the front row not being able to chant "asshole" at the same time as the rest of the crowd. Really, it's not that fucking hard man. Hulk breaks a table just trying to set it up in the ring, now that's some funny shit. Hulk Powerbomb's Bischoff through a table. Kidman misses a top-rope Splash & goes through a table allowing Hulk to get the pin at 13:31 when Horace comes down and counts the pin for Bischoff. ** That's all for Kidman, who bumped his ass off like a fucking maniac for Hogan.
--WCW Heavyweight Championship, Triple Cage, Triple Threat Match: Jeff Jarrett V. Diamond Dallas Page V. David Arquette. Yes, WCW actually made David Arquette, who's dressed like Elvis here, its heavyweight champion. Okay, here's the deal with the cage's, and this might be a little long. There are three cages stacked on top of each other. The 1st cage is huge, about twice the size of the Hell In The Cell, and it's filled with tables and ladders. The 2nd cage is around half the size of a regular steel cage, and it's the hardcore cage, filled with all kinds of weapons. The 3rd cage is very small, try thinking of a shark cage, and it's filled with guitars. To get to the 2nd cage you have to climb through a hole in the top of the 1st cage. To get to the 3rd cage, you have to go through a door to the outside of the 2nd cage, and then climb up on the outside to the 3rd cage. The belt is suspended above the 3rd cage, and the first person to grab it wins the match. Whew, now I think we're ready to begin with the match. For some reason Jarrett & DDP are wearing matching bicycle gloves. Jarrett gets sent headfirst into the cage by DDP and supplies a good blade job for his troubles. Some nice brawling between DDP & Jarrett as Arquette makes everyone happy by staying out of the ring and doing absolutely nothing. DDP is the first to reach the 2nd cage, but he's quickly followed by Jarrett. Cool visual, as DDP gives Jarrett an Irish Whip into the side of the 2nd cage, and the whole side gives way. Arquette decides to climb into the 2nd cage, and then climbs up the side and on top of the 3rd cage. He then just stands there and does nothing. Mike Awesome comes out of nowhere to attack DDP on top of the 1st cage, but DDP fights him off and hit's a Diamond Cutter. Jarrett and DDP both get to the 3rd cage at the same time. DDP reaches the top of the 3rd cage first, and then in a swerve so shocking that nobody really gives a shit, Arquette nails DDP with a guitar which allows Jarrett to grab the belt at 15:31 to win the match and the title. ***1/4 Post-match Kanyon appears out of nowhere to try and stop Awesome from attacking DDP, but Awesome throws Kanyon off the top of the 1st cage and through the rampway in a totally unnecessary bump. Lots of good brawling between DDP & Jarrett make this a good match, but you have to question why they ever put the title on Arquette in the first place, let alone put him in this match. Why not just go with Jarrett & DDP in the first place, since they ended up wrestling the whole match anyways.
--Final Flash: Eh, not terribly offensive or anything, but the only match they had that looked like it was going to be really good, Kanyon/Awesome, was ruined with interference.
Not recommended.
Back to homepage