Summerslam 1998

European Title: Val Venis vs. D'Lo Brown
Gotta love the set, maing. Venis starts with his opening promo, though they would only get better, mainly because this character was in its infancy at this time. D'Lo Borga is announced as being from Helsinki, Finland. D'Lo had a badly injured pectoral muscle, so he contracts Bob Orton Disease, where he has to wear his protective gear for a very long time, especially past the original injury. A bit of stalling to begin, with a VERY hot crowd. Well, it is MSG, so it would be no surprise. Val spends the first part in control of the match, until D'Lo uses his chest protector to gain the upper hand. Good boy. D'Lo spends a good amount of time working on Val's back, and Val sells it well. Val tries a suplex, but his back is hurt, so D'Lo keeps the advantage with a Texas Cloverleaf (YEAH, BABEH~!). D'Lo breaks it up after a bit. D'Lo then misses a FAT-ASSED SECOND ROPE SENTON THAT DOTH NEVER HIT, giving Val a glimmer of hope. Awesome spot happens as Val goes upstairs, but is caught in the Sky High on the way down, and Val's overblown spastic selling of the impact is totally justified. Shockingly, it only gets two. DDT gets another two count. DDT! DDT! DDT! DDT! ThinkaboutitÉ Val then gets a powerslam, catching D'Lo as he was coming off the second rope. Butterfly Suplex leads to a Moneh Shot attempt, but that was countered by two knees to the gut, as the crowd actually chants for D'Lo. Nice. OK, wouldn't the Money Shot have hurt Val, considering the loaded chest protector? Anyways, D'Lo tries the running powerbomb, but he fucks it up, as he couldn't hoist Val up properly. Looked nasty as hell, too. He tries it again, and (thankfully), he hits it, and it looked pretty damn sweet. D'Lo then goes for the Lowdown, but Val rises to the occasion, and moves out of the way. Val manages to strip D'Lo of the chest protector (THE BASTARD!), powerslams him, then puts it on. Val then goes for the Money Shot, but the ref, protesting Val's donning of the chest protector, tries to stop Val, but ends up causing him to crotch himself. The ref then gets in Val's way again, and Val tosses him, drawing a Dairy Queen finish. BOOOOOOO-urns! Damn good match, with solid psychology and selling, but the ending mars it. *** Val then gets VENGEANCE on the ref, giving him the Money Shot, making sure that the fans were still happy with the match. Note: this is the only time the face doesn't go over.

Michael Cole interviews Mankind, who is revealed as the driver of the hearse that Austin destroyed on Heat. It was supposed to be a gift for Kane. Ain't he sweet?

Oddities vs. Kaientai
Oh, this doesn't look too good. The ICP (insert any insult involving those three letters here) rap the Odds to the ring, and the crowd is into the performance. It's a 4-on-3 handicap match, as TAKA, Teioh, Togo, and Funaki take on the dream team of Golga (otherwise known as Earthquake, Shark, Avalanche, 70% Chance Of Rain, and John Tenta), Kurrgan, and Giant Silva. This is the only match I've seen Giant Silva in, and thank God. I mark out for Kurrgan, and he worked hard, but by God he was pitiful. Golga starts, and dismantles Kaientai by himself with headbutts. The match would have been labeled as a comedy match just from how embarrassingly bad the face team was, but there's more. Oh, man, there's more. Golga swipes Yamaguchi-san's shoe, and does a pretty funny little sequence, where all of the Oddities take a whiff of his shoe, and rear back in disgust. That's actually the best I've seen Kurrgan sell something. Kurrgan comes in and kills all of Kaientai, as I'm surprised JR didn't work in a Godzilla reference here. Giant Silva tags in, and he takes out all of Kaientai with Dragonranas and Phoenix Splashes, as JR finds a very diplomatic way to say that the match is riding the magical pink rocket to Suck City. Golga comes in and Kaientai take him out with some pretty cool quadruple-teams, including a quadruple splash. Why Vince didn't use these guys as more than jobber fodder is beyond me. Golga does a front roll (!) to his corner, and Kurrgan gets the tag, and he's a HOSS AFIRE! He manages to fit in the Kurrgan Shuffle somewhere. Him and Giant Silva come in and do a quadruple chokeslam, as Luna slams Yamaguchi-san on the floor. Golga The Fatass falls on top of all four members of KDX, and gets the duke. Squash city, and the worst match on the card. 1/2*, only for when KDX was on offense.

Hair vs. Hair: Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac
Jeff tries to come out with Southern Justice, but they are sent to the back by The Chin. Why not have the Godwinns dressed up as Laz-E-Boy recliners, and name them Southern Comfort? OK, I'm worse than Russo. I can admit it. X-Pac, who is a great face, but a lousy heel, comes out with a freshly-shaven Howard Finkel, who is decked out in a DX shirt. They do the crotch chops together, with Fink doing a bad job at them. He looked like a two year old learning to doggy paddle. Why am I spending this much time talking about the Fink's crotch chops? Jarrett attacks X-Pac from behind to start. X-Pac then beats on Jarrett as if Jeff were Joanie Laurer. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE JOKE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! X-Pac simply moves out of the way of a Jarrett sunset flip attempt, a counter I have rarely seen used, and should be used more often. X-Pac clotheslines Jarrett out of the ring, and X-Pac dives off the second rope after him. The match goes back to the outside when Jarrett gets one of his textbook dropkicks on X-Pac. Then the nastiest ballshot I've seen in wrestling occurs, when Jarrett picks X-Pac up, and rams him, package-first, into the ringpost in a pretty damn vicious manner. Big groan for that one, and extra points for Waltman being on the receiving end of it. :) Inside, some choice wrestling happens, including Waltman hitting a rare tornado DDT. That should have been his finisher, instead of the X-Factor. Jarrett retaliates with a figure four (WOOOOOOOOOO), which goes on for a while. The move is broken up, and X-Pac manages to mount a comeback with a Bronco Buster, a move in which I gave every 600 pound character I've ever made in wrestling games. Crossbody is countered by The Pac for a two count. Double J tries a rana, but X-Pac counters it into a powerbomb for TWOOOOOOOO. X-Pac takes another shot to the sac when Jarrett counters another Bronco Buster attempt. They should have made a wrestler based off of OJ Simpson and gave him the White Bronco Buster as a trademark. Again, I am worse than Russo, and, again, I'm not afraid to admit it. The Fink goes up to the apron to let the ref know about the low blow, but Jarrett knocks him on his ass, but Jeff walks into the Crap Factor for two. How did he kick out? X-Pac sat out for it and everything. No-selling bastard. Southern Justice comes out and gives Jeff the guitar (with ÒDon't P*** Me OffÓ written on it). Jeff doesn't connect on his attempt, but X-Pac does, and gets the three, to a big pop. Jarrett is held down in a chair by the Headbangers, Droz, and The Fink. The shears don't work, so it ends up being a trim, more than anything. This pretty much sent Jarrett's career upwards, because he ended up looking more like a serious contender than a joke wrestler. Darn good match, with fast-paced work by both guys. ***1/2

Marc Mero & Jacqueline vs. ??? and Sable
The mystery partner turns out to be Edge, thus marking his PPV in-ring debut. Jacky was actually pretty attractive back then, before Father Time kicked her in the face. It's Mixed-Tag rules, so it's guys vs. guys, and gals vs. gals. Edge and Mero start off, and have a pretty decent little mini-match with each other, as Sable vs. Jacqueline is teased several times. When they get in, CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! It's actually not that bad, either, because Jacqueline was actually good then, and Sable was okay. Sable then goes after Mero for a bit, and she goes for a Sablebomb, but Jacky saves. Sable then gets a TKO, but Mero breaks up the fall. Mero goes out via a miscue from Jacqueline, and Edge hits a hand-free tope, popping the crowd huge. Even back then, Edge was getting megapops. Jacky goes after Edge, but he takes her to the woodshed in the aisleway. Edge then takes control in the ring, hitting a crossbody and a top-rope neckbreaker. More heel miscommunication, but Mero gets a Samoan Drop, setting up the Marvelosity. That doesn't go as planned, as Mero gets crotched. Sable is tagged in, and hits a top-rope Sablecanrana. Cool. Edge then hits the Downward Spiral (THAT'S STEINER'S MOVE, ASSHOLE!), then Edge does a cartwheel front slam, placing Sable onto Mero for the pin. Fun match. **3/4

Mankind cuts a promo, fearing that he'll be out there alone against the Outlaws, because Kane is nowhere in sight. He has second thoughts about going through with the match. Vince then convinces Mankind to defend the titles by himself, and hands him a variety of weapons. Mankind has 13 words for the Outlaws: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Hilarious segment. Also note the fact that Mankind was worrying about his lost sledgehammer. Keep that in mind for later.

Lion's Den: Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart
Ending the series of submission gimmick matches between the two, we have the Lion's Den, which is a smaller version of the Octagon. Pretty SWANK~ idea. Dan Severn is Owen's cornerman, as I wonder why Shamrock and Severn never had a Lion's Den match, or even a PPV match. That would have been interesting. Shamrock and Owen work on some submission sequences to start. Some really cool stuff happens when Shamrock rebounds off the cage with a clothesline and a kick, as Owen bleeds from the mouth hardaway. They also take some nasty bumps on the mat, which looks pretty damned unforgiving, even though the normal rings weren't very forgiving at this time (just ask Mick Foley). Owen gets the Sharpshooter, but Shamrock climbs up the cage, forcing Owen to break. Now this is how you do a gimmick match. You find creative and practical ways to use the apparatus around you. Owen then GOARZ GOARZ GOARZ Shamrock into the mesh, but Shammy gets a tornado DDT. Cool. Owen manages to come back with the Dragon Sleeper (the move Severn was teaching Owen at the time), but Shamrock uses the cage to escape the maneuver. Shammy gets a Fujiwara armbar, then goes for the Ankle Lock. Owen taps, as Severn leaves in disgust. Cool gimmick + great spots + good wrestling = ***3/4

Tag Team titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind
The Outlaws bring out a dumpster full of goodies. Mankind and Billy have a little duel with chairs. That's gotta hurt the wrists. The Outlaws then have their way with Mankind with metal trays.ÒTrayÓ bien~! Mankind manages to hiptoss Billy Bad-Ass through a table placed in the corner, as JR keeps damning Kane to hell for not showing up. The Outlaws managed to prevail though, first by double-powerbombing Mankind onto two unfolded chairs. OUCH! Mankind manages to kick out of that one, sending the Outlaws into fits of frustration. They grab one of the tag belts, and give Mick a spike piledriver onto the belt for the academic three. Way too one-sided and short. * The Outlaws dump Mankind into the dumpster (MemoriesÉ) and celebrate. Kane arises from the dumpster with Mick's missing sledgehammer, and drives it into him, while the Outlaws scurry to the back like cowards. This effectively turned Mick babyface, and he wouldn't look back.

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match: Triple H vs. The Rock
The Chris Warren Band play HHH to the ring, and he gets a big pop, as does Rocky. Some token brawling to kick things off. Rock tries a slow climb for the belt, but HHH ends that attempt. HHH tries for the belt, but Rock yanks him off the ladder, and HHH lands wrong and tears his quad, er, I mean, hurts his knee. There's good strategy right there for a ladder match. Rock, like a good little boy, works on it. A really nasty-looking spot happens when Rock puts the ladder on top of the stairs and on the railing, and gives HHH a kneebuster on the ladder. That looked NASTY. Rocky goes for the gold, but HHH just manages to quash that attempt. Minutes later, HHH is slingshotted into the ladder on the outside, and lands face-first on the announce table. Now THAT's over-bumping. Pedigree attempt on the ladder is reversed, as Rock BAAAAAAAAAACK body-drops HHH onto the ladder. A new ladder comes into play, because the original ladder is pretty fucked. Rock nearly gets the belt, but HHH gets past Henry and stops Rock, and knocks him to the outside, where HHH baseball-slide dropkicks the open ladder right into Rock's face. YOWCH~! Rock is rightfully busted open. A HHH climb is halted by Rock, and Rock placed a ladder on top of the turnbuckle. This can't lead to anything painless. A DDT leads to another Rock climb, but HHH scales the other side of the ladder, and a fistfight occurs. Rock gets the upper hand, knocking HHH off the ladder. HHH lands face-first on the other ladder, and knocks Rock off the ladder on his way down. Awesome sequence. Rock grabs the ladder, but HHH grabs a chair. HHH hits the ladder Rock is carrying, and just wails away on the ladder, with Rock underneath. Geez, Hunter, be careful with that ladder. Your servants might need it to polish the glass ceiling. Another lame joke, another dollar. Rock recovers, and eventually gets a bodyslam onto the ladder, and THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW~! Massive reaction for that one. Crowd is SERIOUSLY into Rocky here. Eventually, Rock gets a Rock Bottom after halting a HHH climb. HHH comes back by stopping a Rock climb and hitting a Pedigree. Crowd is wild for both guys. Mark Henry, having smuggled a bag of Carpet Fresh from Road Dogg's locker room (or that's what he says it is), tosses the contents in HHH's eyes, impairing his vision. HHH can reach the belt, but he can't see it at all. Rock tries to capitalize on this situation, but Chyna gives him a nutshot, causing him to fall. HHH finally gets the belt, and the crowd goes apeshit. Awesome, awesome match, with great psychology and selling, with a few choice spots, though the selling is definitely understandable because HHH had a legit leg injury. Both guys' best match at that point. ****1/2

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker
Now THIS is how you hype a match. A stark contrast from this year's slapped-together card. Austin has that old shattering glass entrance that rules on about 165 different levels. Both guys get big pops. Some brawling to start, with Austin working Taker's arm with, gasp, WRESTLING moves. That's good psychology, in that Taker would never expect Austin to go to the mat. A weird spot happens, where Undertaker lowers his head, in hopes for a back-body drop, and Austin kicks him to counter, but Undertaker raises his head to quickly, and Austin gets jarred and falls down. Austin points that out in the Hell Yeah video. Taker goes for the ropewalk, but Austin yanks Taker off. Why does nobody kick the damn ropes when he's doing that? Some decent brawling goes on, until Kane comes out. This was very interesting at the time because the story leading up to it was that Austin was suspicious about whether Undertaker was allied with Kane. Because Steve Williams, who was scheduled to oppose Austin in the fall, was injured in the Brawl For All, the story was rewritten so that Kane and Taker were actually working together, where if things went as planned, it probably wouldn't have been the case. Anyhoo, Undertaker sends Kane to the back, because he wants to do it by himself. That's how you pay off the buildup, by keeping things clean and interference-free. As Kane walks to the back, Austin goes after Taker from behind, and works on the knee for a while. Taker gets the chokeslam from the apron to the inside of the ring. Cool. Taker's selling the knee pretty well here. They brawl into the crowd for a while, with Austin getting backdropped after attempting the PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE THAT DOTH NEVER HIT. At ringside, Taker rams Austin back-first into the post. They go into the ring for a bit, and Taker tosses Austin to the outside. Austin eats tasty stair pie, as Taker preps the Spanish table. OlŽ! Taker places Austin onto the table, and goes to the top. LEGDROP THROUGH THE TABLE! HOLY SHIT~! Awesome spot. I believe Taker broke his coccyx (for anyone that's giggling like a schoolgirl right now, that's your tailbone) doing this spot. Man, did he come to work tonight or what? Austin's bleeding internally, as Taker misses a blind charge in the ring, and it leads to a double KO spot. Austin gets the upper hand now with the THESZ PRESS! THESZ PRESS! THESZ PRESS! An elbow follows, and a Stunner just misses for Austin. Taker finds the chokeslam, but goes for the Tombstone (on Austin? Yeah right.), but Austin squirms out. Another Stunner attempt is thwarted, and Austin is crotched as repayment. Taker pulls out a Russian Legsweep on this special occasion. Taker goes to the ropewalk again, but Austin finds ANOTHER counter to the ropewalk, low blowing him on his way down. Great counter. Stunner, and it's a somewhat-clean win for Austin over Taker. Great brawling, and both guys put on a good show to send the fans home happy. ***1/2 Taker grabs the belt, but hands it to Austin. Sportsmanship? In 1998 WWF? Whoa.

Verdict: What a great show. Nothing, other than the second match, was outright crap, and there were a few damn good matches. The finishes were mostly clean (with a few exceptions), and the faces went over in most of the matches. Best PPV of 1998, and one of the better Summerslams. Big thumbs up here.

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