Vengeance 2002
This was requested by someone, I forget whom. Meh, who cares? Let's just pretend I'm doing this for some kid in the hospital with tennis elbow or something. Then I'll feel like I'm contributing something to the world. Well, since Vengeance is around the corner, I'll do last years installment to GET YOU PSYCHED UP!!!!
Tables Match: Eddie Guerrero & Chris Benoit vs. Dudley Boyz
Whomp-ass! Chris Benoit's first PPV appearance since King of The Ring 2001. Kinda sad that it had to be against the Dudley Boyz Lite, but good to get the rust off. He'd go back to ruling all only a couple of weeks later. If you're wondering why Tazz and Michael Cole are announcing this match, it's because they're announcing the first half of Vengeance, while JR bitches in the back, er, I mean, JR and King call the last half. Spike gets beat down with chops, and Bubba gets beat down with punches and kicks. A lot of punches and kicks. This wasn't exactly Eddie's best performance, either. The match perks up for the last 5 or 6 minutes with a few table teases. Bubba HITS THE ELUSIVE SENTONÉonto the table, breaking it, but he wasn't eliminated. Eddy goes via Dudley Dogg off the apron to a table outside, though Eddie barely grazed it, and Spike went through himself. Meh, offensive is offensive. Benoit then picks Spike up over his head (HE'S A HOSS, BAH GAWD) and throws him through a table. The match ends with Benoit trying to German suplex Bubba through the table, but Bubba reverses and BubbaBombs him through, as Nathan Jones and Booker T feel sympathy pains. I'm getting killed for that joke, am I? Meh, who cares. Match was too kicky-punchy in the first ten or so minutes, but boy did this sucker pick up at the end. Didn't like the idea of Benoit jobbing in his first PPV back, though. **1/2
Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Kidman
Ugh. I hated those short tights on Kidman that he was wearing during the Smackdown clips shown before the match. Good thing he switched back to the longer ones for this show. Kidman controls to start with some two counts. Kidman misses a pescado, and Noble hits a sick-looking (and sounding) single-arm DDT. Noble works on the arm with some postings, and a Northern Lights Suplex. Noble gets in a nice-looking submission hold after a hammerlock takedown. Kidman comes back with a rana, dropkick, and the F-U-to-knee-to-head thingy he did ("HEAD TO THE BACK OF THE KNEE", says Michael Cole). Clothesline is countered to Move #873 (armbar). Powerbomb is countered (WHAT A SHOCK) by Kidman, and he hits an embarrassingly low enzuigiri. I thought Noble was going to hold his kidneys, collapse, and have "Tell Me a Lie" play on the PA system after that one. Sky High off the top rope gets two, in a cool spot. Tornado DDT spot is botched, and Kidman misses the SSP, and, surprisingly, didn't injure himself. Pearl River Plunge, G! finishes the match. The psychology was pretty decent. Okay match, but they'd have a better one at Survivor Series, when they went a different route, and did mostly sick bumps and spots instead of psychology. **3/4
European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal
Crowd goes pretty wild for Jeff here. He was only mildly deteriorated here. It wasn't until October or so until he became a spot-blowing paint machine. They show a funny moment before the match, where Regal cries like a woman after initially losing the title to Hardy. Man, his facials are great. Regal slaps Jeff like a bitch (how appropriate) to kick off the match. Regal halts a sunset flip attempt and knees him in the head, which looked pretty cool. Jeff escapes another kneedrop and hits his jawbreaker. Regal is badly monkey-flipped out, and Jeff follows with an even worse missed dropkick. Jeff ranas Regal on the floor, but misses the SLIPPITY-DOO-DAH RAIL RUNNER OF DEATH. Later on, Jeff goes for the Swanton, but Regal gets the knees up, drawing "oooohhhhs" from the group I was watching this with the night of. Regal hits the half-nelson for two, but Jeff gets a flukey rollup for the three. Weak ending, some ugly parts, and only four minutes altogether give this Worst Match of The Night honors. Honestly, it didn't outright suck, though. *1/4
Ric Flair congratulates Jeff Hardy after his title defense, then Hogan congratulates him. Hogan then ponders as to whether he should finish his match tonight with the HULKAMANIAC SWANTON BOMB. Flair responds with some JR-type commentary on the potentially career-eating maneuver. Pretty funny stuff.
John Cena vs. Chris Jericho
This is Cena's PPV debut, and this was "Ruthless Aggression. Grrrrrr" Cena, not Vanilla Cena. Jericho grabs a chair, but that backfires, as Cena gets his own shot in. SHOW THAT RUTHLESS AGGRESSION, BOY! Cena controls, but Jericho hotshots him to take the advantage. Cena rolls him up, but Jericho regains control. Nice spot, as Cena goes for the Stinger Splash, but Jericho counters with a second-rope dropkick. Man, Cena was totally awkward back then, as he made his movements big and expressive. He's totally improved since then, but you could really see the potential here. Cena and Jericho exchange offensive misses, as Cena misses a dropkick, and Jericho missing the Lionsault. Jericho counters an Oklahoma roll for two, and the Flashback gets TWOOOOOOOOOO. Bulldog and Lionsault later, Jericho doesn't bother with the pin. After this, you can totally guess the outcome. Cena reverses the Walls into a rollup for the victory. Man, who's gas tank did Jericho piss in to not win a PPV from February to September? Pretty good match, though. Cena looked decent here. ***
Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Brock Lesnar
Lesnar gets absolutely NO heat here. How would anyone be able to predict that he would be one of WWE's most over faces in less than a year at this point? RVD gets a damn good home-state pop (this PPV was in Detroit, by the way), and remained hot for RVD throughout the whole match. RVD gets the upper hand in the early portion in the match, working on Brock's legs, until Brock catches a pescado attempt and powerslams him on the floor, ala British Bulldog to Bret Hart in December 1995. Lesnar then works on the back after a gutbuster, with an overhead belly-to-belly and a backbreaker. RVD comes back with a heel kick, but it was all for naught when Brock gets the better of RVD on the outside. It is just so weird hearing crickets for Lesnar. The match slows down with a bearhug and an abdominal stretch. RVD manages the classic comeback with some kicks, and a legdrop on the apron, and a single-leg missile dropkick. Rolling thunder gets two. RVD then counters the F5 with a DDT, in an awesome spot. *****-Frog Splash hits, but Heyman pulls Charles Robinson out for the Dairy Queen finish. Another bad ending, but it was totally understandable, considering that Lesnar was going to Summerslam for the title, and they wanted to preserve RVD's title reign. Match was quite good, despite the ending and lack of heat for Lesnar. ***
Booker T vs. Big Show
This match is No-DQ and No Countout, because the previous two matches between the two ended in DQ and countout. Kicky-punchy to start. Booker actually hits Big Show with an enzuigiri that hit above the kidney area. Brawling on the outside occurs, then Booker hits Show with a monitor. Axe kick through the announce table follows. SWANK~ spot there. Booker then hits another axe kick inside the ring, and pulls the Houston Hangover out of the mothballs for the three. This was very well booked, as it made Booker look very dominant, and into a possible title contender. Match was *1/2, but worth seeing for the announce table spot.
HHH decision segment
HHH comes out, as the world waits in anticipation as to whether he will go to RAW or Smackdown. Who buys a PPV for this? Bischoff and Stephanie comes out, and HHH disses both of them. HHH's face promos were pretty entertaining, because he's good when he can be humorous. HHH was going to go to Smackdown (oh, thank God. I couldn't take the suspense), but HBK comes out and says some pretty funny stuff. HHH is convinced, and leaves with HBK, signing with RAW, but not before he tells Steph something, but the mic cut out a bit when he was supposed to say "Sorry, Steph". It was edited into the home video version. As far as 15-minute PPV promos go, this one was quite entertaining, but long promos have no place on PPV.
Tag Team Titles: Hulk Hogan & Edge vs. Christian and Lance Storm
The UnAmericans were known as just the "Anti-Americans" back then. JR makes a hilarious art form of screwing up here by noting that Edge went to see Hulk Hogan lock up with Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania III. He corrects himself by saying that "it was Wrestlemania VI, not Wrestlemania III. Wrestlemania III was right here, in Chicago". Too hilarious. Christian oversells the LOCKUP OF DEATH AND DESPAIR. Edge is in, and the UnAmericans control with Christian's overrated cheap heel tactics (choke, taunt, choke), and Storm's cool wrestling. Hot tag to Hogan, and he Hulks up after an inverted DDT by Christian. Boot and legdrop get two after Storm breaks up the count. Superkick on the floor takes Hulk out, and he plays face-in-peril. Edge gets the hot tag and cleans house, but the ref gets bumped. EDGECUTION DDT gets nothing because the ref is out. Test takes out Edge with the BOOOOOOOOT, but it only gets two. Edge spears Lance, but Jericho nails Edge with the belt, and the UnAmericans get the titles, with another weak ending. Match was perfectly acceptable stuff, even with Hulk bringing it down. **
Undisputed Title: Undertaker vs. Rock vs. Kurt Angle
The match starts off on a hilarious note when Undertaker and Rock get into words, and Kurt Angle is waving at the two of them for attention, then they both pound him simultaneously. Some sluggin' and buggin' is happening between Undertaker and Rock, b'lee dat. Angle then tosses UT into the stairs, quite nastily, by the way. Rock and Angle go at it, with Angle getting in some suplexes, and Rock getting a DDT. Then some awesomeness happens soon after. Rock and Undertaker are having an exchange, when Rock chokeslams Undertaker, and a damn nice one at that. Markout city. Rock then downs Angle, and applies the Ankle-Rock (sorry, bad pun) on Angle. Rock then walks into a Rock Bottom by Angle! HAH! Angle and Undertaker go, and Undertaker wins that exchange withÉwait for itÉwait for itÉTHE ANGLE FUCKING SLAM!!! That was one of my favorite sequences in a match, ever. Seriously. Incredible outage of marking there. Some out of ring brawling occurs between Angle and Taker, then Rock spits water in Undertaker's face, which might have more effectiveness on Taker than Cena's offense if Taker is in MIDCARD SQUASHIN'~ mode at this year's Vengeance. Angle is posted, and does a pretty subpar bladejob, in which JR declares that he is bleeding like a stuck pig. OLD SCHOOL and a DDT, complete with wonderful Rock overselling, gets two. Chokeslam and Rock Bottom are both countered by Rock and Taker. Angle then comes in with a chair and lays out Taker, and Angle Slams Rock. Angle tries to cover Undertaker, then Rock, but gets two on both occasions. Then more awesomeness happens. Undertaker saves Angle from the Sharpshooter, then he Last Rides Rock, then Angle pulls him off and wrenches in the Ankle Lock! Terrific sequence. Taker counters the Ankle Lock, and tries the Last Ride, but Angle gets in the Triangle Choke. Taker tries to powerbomb out of it, but to no avail, until Rock saves. Rock Bottom is reversed into the Ankle Lock, then countered by Rock into a rollup for two. This match is getting hotter by the minute. Taker chokeslams Angle, then walks into the Rock Bottom. Angle cradles Rock for two, and Angle Slams Undertaker. Angle goes for Rocky, but is suckered into a Rock Bottom to give Rock his seventh title, and the designation of Brock's Sacrificial Lamb for Summerslam. AWESOME match, totally underrated. The action was pretty non-stop save for a slow middle portion, and there were a ton of near falls that really got the crowd into it. One of the best matches of 2002, IMO. ****1/4
Verdict: Pretty mediocre (though solid) undercard, but the main event is an unappreciated treasure. Nothing outright sucked, so it's a mild thumbs up.
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