Burning Hammer DVD Review #10

CellJr300 On

XPW: Baptized In Blood
(My Bloody Valentine 2000)
February 24, 2000

--Taped from Hollywood, CA

--Your hosts are Kris Kloss & Larry Rivera

--XPW King Of The Death Match Championship Tournament, Round One, Beds Of Barbed Wire And Nails Death Match: Supreme V. Kid Kaos. Right off the bat they fuck up a Clothesline spot. Kaos ducks under a Supreme Clothesline, and hits Supreme in the stomach with a punch, but Kaos goes down and sells Supreme hitting him with a Clothesline while Supreme just stands there like an idiot. Kaos hits a top-rope Corkscrew Shoulderblock, but I think it was supposed to be a top-rope Corkscrew Senton. Supreme throws some of the weakest looking punches I've ever seen, and if Kaos decided to no-sell them I wouldn't be the least bit upset. Supreme goes for a Powerbomb onto a barbed wire board, but he slips and instead gently places Kaos on the board. Supreme gets the pin to advance in the tournament at 9:30 after hitting a top-rope Moonsault Press on Kaos who was underneath a barbed wire board. -* Terrible match with both guys fucking up every chance they got, which is still the modus operandi for Supreme today, but at least Kaos has improved somewhat.

--XPW King Of The Death Match Championship Tournament, Round One, Barbed Wire, Ladder, And Thumbtacks Death Match: Messiah V. Johnny Webb. Messiah clearly brought his wrestling boots and his bumping tights with him tonight, as he's wrestling and bumping his ass off in this match to try and make up for the fact that Webb sucks. Messiah hits Webb with a vicious Sunset Flip Powerbomb on the thumbtacks. Messiah gets the pin to advance in the tournament at 8:47 after hitting a Crossbody on Webb. ** That's all for Messiah, who worked his ass off to make something good out of this match.

--XPW King Of The Death Match Championship Tournament, Round One, Beds Of Barbed Wire And Lightbulbs Death Match: Carlito Montana V. Kronus. Montana looks like Vince Russo if he actually possessed muscles, and Kronus gained all of his fame while wrestling in ECW as a member of the Eliminators alongside Saturn. Kronus Bodyslams Montana onto a bed of light bulbs, and since Montana is wrestling this match sans shirt, it's a pretty vicious shot. Kronus gets the pin at 5:01 to advance in the tournament after a Powerbomb off the apron through a table on Montana. 1Ú4* Match wasn't good to begin with, but Kronus no-selling everything in sight didn't help it out any.

--XPW King Of The Death Match Championship Tournament, Round One, Barbed Wire Bat, Beds Of Nails And Glass Death Match: Homeless Jimmy V. Axl Rotten. Rotten gets the pin at 4:25 to advance in the tournament after a chairshot to Jimmy's head sends him crashing into the bed of glass. DUD Nothing but nonstop shots to the head with various objects.

--Chronic V. JN. Apparently these two were once a tag team, but have just recently broken up and are now feuding, but I'll be damned if I actually give a shit. Match is a no-contest at 5:20 when Mustafa Saed, of ECW Gangstas fame, comes down to the ring and attacks JN. DUD I don't know which was worse, the match, or JN puking all over the ring during the match.

--XPW King Of The Death Match Championship Tournament, Semifinal Round, Beds Of Barbed Wire, Thumbtacks, And Nails Death Match: Messiah V. Supreme. Messiah hits a wicked DDT on Supreme on the hardwood floor on the outside. Supreme hits Messiah with a Gordbuster into the bed of thumbtacks. Supreme gets the pin and advances in the tournament at 8:01 after placing Messiah in a bed of thumbtacks that was held up by a pair of chairs & hitting a top-rope Splash while holding a chair. 1Ú2* Messiah tried to make something out of the match, but there was just no stopping Supreme from dragging it down the crapper.

--XPW King Of The Death Match Championship Tournament, Semifinal Round, Beds Of Barbed Wire, Lightbulbs, And Glass Death Match: Kronus V. Axl Rotten. Kronus gets the pin and advances in the tournament at 3:45 after hitting a Vertical Suplex through a barbed wire board in the corner. DUD Even for a death match this was a really pointless match.

--XPW Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Candido (W/Tammy Sytch) V. Damien Steele. Candido gets the pin and the title at 5:20 after hitting an Elbowdrop off a bar counter onto a prone Steele on the bar floor. DUD Well, at least the match was short. Post-match Shane Douglas makes his first appearance in XPW, and babbles on & on for a while, and at the same time people the world over collectively yell, "Who gives a shit, shut the fuck up."

--XPW King Of The Death Match Championship Tournament, Final Round, No Ropes Barbed Wire, Beds Of Everything Death Match: Supreme V. Kronus. As soon as the bell rings Kronus gives Supreme a Backdrop Suplex into a bed of lightbulbs, and maybe if Supreme wasn't wearing about ten layers of clothing to cover up his body I might find that impressive. Supreme wins the match, the tournament, and the title by pinfall at 8:01 after wrapping himself in barbed wire and hitting a Splash off the middle of a ladder onto Kronus who was on top of a table. -** About as bad as you'd expect a match between Kronus & Supreme to be.

--Final Flash: If you take the efforts of Messiah out of the equation this was an awful event, but as is, it's just really bad. Other than Messiah, there was not one wrestler on this show that did anything that could even be deemed remotely watchable.

Not Recommended


Singles Going Steady

--Cage Match: Messiah V. Johnny Webb. I'm not sure what event this is from, but it takes place sometime in the year 2000. Pinfall/submission rules are in place for this cage match. Messiah hits the SWEET~ Godsmack (Fireman's Carry into an Ace Crusher). Webb wins the match at 9:16 after Jessica Darlin makes her XPW debut by interfering and allowing Webb to knock Messiah off the top of the cage and through a table on the outside, where Webb gets the pin. * Too much Webb, and not enough Messiah, coupled with a BS ending does not equal a good match.

--XPW Heavyweight Championship, Loser Leaves Town Match: Shane Douglas (W/Kaos & Veronica Caine) V. Webb (W/Rob Black & Lizzy Borden). This is from XPW Night Of Champions 2002, and it's Douglas' return to XPW after a couple of years in WCW. Douglas was brought in as a mystery opponent for Webb , who is Johnny Webb, just minus the Johnny part, but still without any actual wrestling talent. Douglas takes about five minutes to set up a simple using the ropes to stretch the leg spot, that was pretty sad to watch. Match is already crawling towards a slow and painful death when Douglas gives the match just what it needs to put it over the top, a ref bump. Douglas wins the match, the title, and forces Webb to leave XPW at 14:55 after hitting a Belly-To-Belly Suplex for the pin. -** This was 14:55 of pure and utter crap. Webb is one of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen, but it's not like Douglas was much better

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