Burning Hammer DVD Review #11

CellJr300 On

XPW: Go Funk Yourself 2000
July 22, 2000

--Taped Los Angeles, CA

--Your hosts are Kris Kloss & Larry Rivera

--Nosawa V. Pogo the Clown. Nosawa is a Japanese wrestler who spends most of his time wrestling in Mexico & America. Pogo gets the pin at 3:40 with an Argentine Backbreaker. 1/4* Squash match.

--Carlito Montana, Westsiders V. Mexico's Most Wanted (W/Lady Victoria). In this match the Westsiders consist of Chronic & Big Rott, while Most Wanted consist of Damien666, Halloween, & Rey Mysterio, and that would be the original Rey Mysterio, not Rey Jr.. Beautiful Powerslam by Mysterio on Montana gets 2. Funny moment when Chronic & Halloween try to do a counter wrestling sequence into a standoff, but Chronic is so slow on every move that it draws laughs from the crowd. Mysterio uses a staple gun on Montana, and I'm pretty sure it'd be more effective if I didn't see Mysterio visibly cover up the spot where the staples are supposed to come out with some sort of blocker. Chronic puts Victoria through a table with a middle-rope Viagra Driver. Chronic gets the pin on Damien666 at 8:34 after hitting a double-team Abise Giri. 1/4* A garbage spotfest where none of the XPW workers are good at working that kind of style, so as you could expect the match wasn't good.

--I Quit Match: Steve Rizzono V. Kid Kaos. Rizzono sounds familiar for some reason, but I have no idea where from. Kaos hits a vicious middle-rope Sunset Flip Powerbomb through two chairs. Kaos uses a Shiranui on Rizzono, but alas there aren't any pinfalls. Rizzono apparently wins the match at 5:32 after Kaos supposedly says I quit while in a Dragon Sleeper. It ends up being a ring crew guy under the ring, so the ref orders the match be restarted. Match takes a drastic turn from bad to HHH & his sledgehammer levels of absurdity as Rizzono brings a knife into the match. Kaos gets Rizzono to say I quit at 8:33 by jabbing him in the head with the knife. DUD The good wrestling in the middle is the only thing that saves this match from reaching negative territory.

--Johnny Webb (W/Jessica) V. Kronus. This was supposed to be Webb versus Homeless Jimmy, but for some reason this match happens instead. Before I can even finish typing that, match is a no-contest at 1:43 when Jimmy shows up and another match starts. DUD

--Three Way Dance Match: Johnny Webb (W/Jessica) V. Kronus V. Homeless Jimmy. This is under first pin/submission wins the match rules. Jimmy hits an insane top-rope Plancha to the outside on both guys. Webb hits a Hipbuster on Jimmy though a table on the outside. Kronus gives Jimmy a Hiptoss into a ladder that's set up in the corner. Webb tries a Spider German Suplex on Jimmy through a table, but he completely undershoots the table by a lot and drops Jimmy straight on his head in a scary moment. Webb gets the pin on Jimmy at 10:27 after a top-rope Splash through a table. -* Scary match, and all three guys looked like a bunch of backyarders, with Webb especially looking like he belongs in a backyard and not in a wrestling ring.

--XPW King Of The Death Match Championship, Death Match: Messiah (W/Lizzy Borden) V. Supreme (W/Kristi Myst). Nice counter wrestling sequence leads to a Messiah Dropkick. Supreme gives Messiah a Facefirst Powerbomb into a bed of thumbtacks, followed by a Vertical Suplex into a bed of lightbulbs. Messiah with a Breakdown into the bed of thumbtacks. Messiah gives Supreme a DDT onto the seat of a chair with thumbtacks on it. Messiah hits a Lionsault onto a barbed wire board that's on top of Supreme for a 2 count. Supreme hits a vicious Fallaway Throw into the bed of thumbtacks. Supreme hits a SWEET~ Superplex to the outside through a barbed wire board on a table. Supreme wins the match at 16:46 after a Praying Powerbomb onto a bed of thumbtacks that was set up on two chairs. *** I really dug this match, and Supreme didn't have a chance to drag it down like usual because Messiah was in control for most of the match. All the BS interference at the end was unnecessary, but otherwise a good job by Messiah of carrying Supreme to his only good match that I know of.

--Loser Leaves XPW Match: Tracey Smothers (W/Rob Black) V. Kid Kaos. Smothers is most famous for his runs in the NWA and in ECW as a member of the FBI. Kaos gets the pin to force Smothers to leave XPW at 4:51 with a messed up Shiranui. DUD Smothers was really bad in this match, he refused to cooperate with Kaos on anything, and even though Kaos was trying to make the match better, Smothers incorporation nullified any chance of the match being good.

--XPW Heavyweight Championship Match: Terry Funk (W/Rob Black) V. Sabu (W/Josh Lazie). Funk goes for his middle-rope Piledriver onto a chair, a move that I've never seen him hit all the times he's tried it, and like usual he misses and lands his ass on the chair while no part of Sabu's body comes even close to touching the chair or the mat. Sabu gets the pin at 8:51 with a Lateral Press after throwing a fireball in Funk's face. -* A meandering , meaningless brawl, with both men blowing spots all over the place.

--Final Flash: Another bad show from XPW, although this one did feature the best XPW match I've ever seen in the form of Messiah/Supreme. Still, avoid this show, and unless you're getting a ÒBest Of Messiah in XPWÓ tape, avoid XPW at all costs.

Not Recommended

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